“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #3
3. There are two powers at work in this world.
When the cancer was diagnosed, I couldn't help but be shocked, and frustrated. And quite frankly, I was mad at God. I thought I was a great asset to God in my ministry in the recovery program. Why would He side-line me? I worked hard for the program, and I traveled to other churches and preached about recovery-health. I took the message of God's grace to people who needed to know that God was willing to help them over come their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Why would he shut me down? Unless it wasn't God shutting me down... "A-Ha". It finally it came to me. God had nothing to do with shutting me down. It was Satan. Now I may be 100% off my rocker, but I think Satan saw what I was doing as a threat... a real honest-to-goodness threat to his underworld of sin. Never under estimate POWER… regardless of where it comes from.
Grace & Peace, this week…
Bob
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 2)
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #2
2. The world we live in is a dependable world.
The world has certain things that are just true. If you shut the engines off of flying airplanes, they are going to fall out of the sky. If you ride your bicycle into the path of a semi-trailer truck, most likely you will die. And if you are cruel to your spouse, and they divorce you, don’t be shocked.
God gave us a world we can depend on so we will recognize what the boundaries are. When my surgeon told me that he thought I had lung cancer that metastasized to my spine, I was pretty shocked. You see, I was a closet smoker for years and I had watched several members of my family waste away from cancer, so it was the way it was diagnosed was the shocking to me. (Once, I quit smoking for 14 years, and then I started smoking again. So, maybe I should add “stupidity” to my list of recovery issues.)
This world is a dependable world. It is God’s way of giving us operational margins.
Grace & Peace to all…
Bob
Blog Post #2
2. The world we live in is a dependable world.
The world has certain things that are just true. If you shut the engines off of flying airplanes, they are going to fall out of the sky. If you ride your bicycle into the path of a semi-trailer truck, most likely you will die. And if you are cruel to your spouse, and they divorce you, don’t be shocked.
God gave us a world we can depend on so we will recognize what the boundaries are. When my surgeon told me that he thought I had lung cancer that metastasized to my spine, I was pretty shocked. You see, I was a closet smoker for years and I had watched several members of my family waste away from cancer, so it was the way it was diagnosed was the shocking to me. (Once, I quit smoking for 14 years, and then I started smoking again. So, maybe I should add “stupidity” to my list of recovery issues.)
This world is a dependable world. It is God’s way of giving us operational margins.
Grace & Peace to all…
Bob
Monday, September 14, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 1)
I’m going to try something new. The next few weeks I am going to start a blog a series… “THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER” I wish my title was a bit more “catchy” but I’m not that good. Maybe I’ll “learn a new title”… I know it will contain at least 4 posts, because I already have them written… but maybe it will grow to more. I’m going to keep them short, too. One or two short paragraphs at max! OH, and If there is something medical that I need to share… I’ll tell you. Otherwise, enjoy.
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #1: Sept 14
1. God allows us to suffer so we won’t forget where our healing comes from.
I am grateful for my cancer. That must sound very unusual. And, to my wife, who comforts me when I am in physical and emotional pain, I’m sure that may even sound like a lie. But I am grateful for it. Here's why: In II Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul told the church... “But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you. So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.
There are times when I am completely chewed up over the cancer; I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! But there are more and more times that I get to praise God for what he has done to heal me, than complain about the pain or fatigue in my body. I try, as much as I can, to give God credit & glory for every success and good day I have.
God is good!
Grace & Peace
Bob
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #1: Sept 14
1. God allows us to suffer so we won’t forget where our healing comes from.
I am grateful for my cancer. That must sound very unusual. And, to my wife, who comforts me when I am in physical and emotional pain, I’m sure that may even sound like a lie. But I am grateful for it. Here's why: In II Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul told the church... “But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you. So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.
There are times when I am completely chewed up over the cancer; I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! But there are more and more times that I get to praise God for what he has done to heal me, than complain about the pain or fatigue in my body. I try, as much as I can, to give God credit & glory for every success and good day I have.
God is good!
Grace & Peace
Bob
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
2 blog posts in 2 weeks - WOW!
Dear Friends & Family,
(If you don't have time to read all of this... jump to the last 2 paragraphs... )
Since all of my health issues started, I've had a significant amount of swelling in my feet, legs, and abdomen. Typically, if I don't wear my socks and shoes (compression socks, at that) then my feet swell a lot! Well, once the feet start to swell, then there go the legs. Lots of swelling. At times, my legs swell so much my slacks cuff gets stuck on my calf, so when I stand up, I have to literally reach down and pull my cuff where it should be. And then, I could clamor on all day...and night about this giant "hump" on my right side. Again, swelling, swelling and MORE swelling.
OK, now all of this is going somewhere, so hang with me.
I take my chemo-therapy (a capsule) 21 days on and 7 days off. When I take my last pill (in the 21 days cycle) I am supposed to telephone the maker of the chemo and take a survey. Then, I am to call my physicians office and report that (1) I have taken my 21st capsule, and (2) that I have called the maker of the chemo and I have taken my survey. Then, the doctor's office will fax the prescription to the "high touch" pharmacy (in Ohio). Then the next day I am supposed to telephone the pharmacy and begin the process of orchestrating the UPS delivery of the medication to my home. Once the pharmacy has the prescription filled, they have to call me and I have to have a conversation with the pharmacist to make sure I don't "share the medication, have unprotected sex with a woman of childbearing years, and that I don't donate any organs, blood, or anything else anyone might want from me" (that is all true... stupid, but true). Then... they ship the medication to me and I have to sign for it or UPS won't leave it. I'm out of breath just telling the story.
Still, I'm going someplace. Hang with me.
I took my last chemo-therapy capsule someplace around the 25th of August. Well, as you might understand (from the previous paragraph) that ordering my chemo-therapy can "slip the mind". Ok... let's be honest here... I intentionally waited a few days to call it in; then I really DID forget. So, I've been off the chemo for about 12 days. (Don't be concerned, I told my doctor what I did and he said that it would NOT hurt me...much.) Anyway, I received the chemo in Saturday's UPS delivery and I will start it tonight.
Now... here is where I'm going.
Being without the chemo for 12 days, I discovered that I have no swelling in my feet and legs. Yes, no swelling. And.. if that isn't great enough, I've also noticed that the big hump on my right side, although still there, is not as bad as it was. The swelling is going down, and there is less pain in my side. And, I'll tell you... for me that rocks! So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the chemo causes the swelling. The doctor and I have both wondered if it was caused by the steroids, the chemo, or if some of the swelling sites were tumors. Well... that worry, although frustrating, is not a worry any longer. It is the Chemo... not tumors or new cancer issues.
Continue to pray that I am moving toward remission. Because if I am in remission or near remission, and if I get to go off of all or even some of the chemo (or change to a different one) then all these swelling issues will go away. God is good, still more and more.
Grace & Peace to all.
--Bob
(If you don't have time to read all of this... jump to the last 2 paragraphs... )
Since all of my health issues started, I've had a significant amount of swelling in my feet, legs, and abdomen. Typically, if I don't wear my socks and shoes (compression socks, at that) then my feet swell a lot! Well, once the feet start to swell, then there go the legs. Lots of swelling. At times, my legs swell so much my slacks cuff gets stuck on my calf, so when I stand up, I have to literally reach down and pull my cuff where it should be. And then, I could clamor on all day...and night about this giant "hump" on my right side. Again, swelling, swelling and MORE swelling.
OK, now all of this is going somewhere, so hang with me.
I take my chemo-therapy (a capsule) 21 days on and 7 days off. When I take my last pill (in the 21 days cycle) I am supposed to telephone the maker of the chemo and take a survey. Then, I am to call my physicians office and report that (1) I have taken my 21st capsule, and (2) that I have called the maker of the chemo and I have taken my survey. Then, the doctor's office will fax the prescription to the "high touch" pharmacy (in Ohio). Then the next day I am supposed to telephone the pharmacy and begin the process of orchestrating the UPS delivery of the medication to my home. Once the pharmacy has the prescription filled, they have to call me and I have to have a conversation with the pharmacist to make sure I don't "share the medication, have unprotected sex with a woman of childbearing years, and that I don't donate any organs, blood, or anything else anyone might want from me" (that is all true... stupid, but true). Then... they ship the medication to me and I have to sign for it or UPS won't leave it. I'm out of breath just telling the story.
Still, I'm going someplace. Hang with me.
I took my last chemo-therapy capsule someplace around the 25th of August. Well, as you might understand (from the previous paragraph) that ordering my chemo-therapy can "slip the mind". Ok... let's be honest here... I intentionally waited a few days to call it in; then I really DID forget. So, I've been off the chemo for about 12 days. (Don't be concerned, I told my doctor what I did and he said that it would NOT hurt me...much.) Anyway, I received the chemo in Saturday's UPS delivery and I will start it tonight.
Now... here is where I'm going.
Being without the chemo for 12 days, I discovered that I have no swelling in my feet and legs. Yes, no swelling. And.. if that isn't great enough, I've also noticed that the big hump on my right side, although still there, is not as bad as it was. The swelling is going down, and there is less pain in my side. And, I'll tell you... for me that rocks! So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the chemo causes the swelling. The doctor and I have both wondered if it was caused by the steroids, the chemo, or if some of the swelling sites were tumors. Well... that worry, although frustrating, is not a worry any longer. It is the Chemo... not tumors or new cancer issues.
Continue to pray that I am moving toward remission. Because if I am in remission or near remission, and if I get to go off of all or even some of the chemo (or change to a different one) then all these swelling issues will go away. God is good, still more and more.
Grace & Peace to all.
--Bob
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Doctor's visit and report from 9-1-09: GOOD NEWS!
Dear Friends and family...
I have intentionally held back on my blogging until I knew something to tell. Well, I think I have something to say today that will be worth hearing. I'd like to say all of this is "conclusive evidence" but I can't. It is speculation, but it is such good speculation, I can't hold back the sharing. We will know more in about 6 weeks, but this is what happened yesterday...
Yesterday, September 1, 2009 I went to see Dr. Michael Keefer. He is the Oncologist that takes care of me. In the course of my appointment. He said, "I want you to have a PT scan sometime in the next month to 6 weeks." (Now, I've been told that a PT Scan is the most conclusive of all the scans and it is "the" test above all tests to verify where the cancer is.) And before I could ask, "why?", he said... "I think you might be in remission."
This is the first time that Dr. Keefer has said anything about me being "in remission", or that it is even possible for me to go into remission. He went on to explain that my blood work (where my cancer is tracked) is so low it is almost impossible to detect. And for the third appointment in a row, he said, "I wish my other patients were doing as well as you are!"
He said if I was in remission (again, we know more in 30 to 45 days) then he plans to take me off of some of the medication, or at least alter the medication I am on. He says there are other chemo-pills I can take that might be a little easier on my system, and if all goes well, he plans to reduce the steroids.
Well, it won't come as a surprise, but I cried a little. Dr. Keefer and I talked about how God's grace was evident in my life, and how he, as an oncologist, was able to see God's grace every day. He hugged me, and I thanked him for being my doctor. It was about the best doctor's appointment ever.
Prayer request: What EVER you are praying for me... don't stop. Please pray that I am in remission, and that Dr. Keefer continues to treat me with the best medication possible. Oh, and he still says the big ugly hump on my right side will eventually go away. He says it is not a tumor, it is just swelling and possible it is swelling because of the steroids and/or the chemo.
And, I do want to apologize for not blogging these last 3 months. I really didn't have much to report, and I'll be honest...a little frustration goes a long, long way for those of us who suffer with depression. But, I'll try share more often than I have in the past. Thank you for your prayers, concerns, cards, and calls. I am thankful for each of you.
God is good...
Grace & Peace,
--Bob
I have intentionally held back on my blogging until I knew something to tell. Well, I think I have something to say today that will be worth hearing. I'd like to say all of this is "conclusive evidence" but I can't. It is speculation, but it is such good speculation, I can't hold back the sharing. We will know more in about 6 weeks, but this is what happened yesterday...
Yesterday, September 1, 2009 I went to see Dr. Michael Keefer. He is the Oncologist that takes care of me. In the course of my appointment. He said, "I want you to have a PT scan sometime in the next month to 6 weeks." (Now, I've been told that a PT Scan is the most conclusive of all the scans and it is "the" test above all tests to verify where the cancer is.) And before I could ask, "why?", he said... "I think you might be in remission."
This is the first time that Dr. Keefer has said anything about me being "in remission", or that it is even possible for me to go into remission. He went on to explain that my blood work (where my cancer is tracked) is so low it is almost impossible to detect. And for the third appointment in a row, he said, "I wish my other patients were doing as well as you are!"
He said if I was in remission (again, we know more in 30 to 45 days) then he plans to take me off of some of the medication, or at least alter the medication I am on. He says there are other chemo-pills I can take that might be a little easier on my system, and if all goes well, he plans to reduce the steroids.
Well, it won't come as a surprise, but I cried a little. Dr. Keefer and I talked about how God's grace was evident in my life, and how he, as an oncologist, was able to see God's grace every day. He hugged me, and I thanked him for being my doctor. It was about the best doctor's appointment ever.
Prayer request: What EVER you are praying for me... don't stop. Please pray that I am in remission, and that Dr. Keefer continues to treat me with the best medication possible. Oh, and he still says the big ugly hump on my right side will eventually go away. He says it is not a tumor, it is just swelling and possible it is swelling because of the steroids and/or the chemo.
And, I do want to apologize for not blogging these last 3 months. I really didn't have much to report, and I'll be honest...a little frustration goes a long, long way for those of us who suffer with depression. But, I'll try share more often than I have in the past. Thank you for your prayers, concerns, cards, and calls. I am thankful for each of you.
God is good...
Grace & Peace,
--Bob
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