I am Thankful!

Especially in the last four months I have found so many reasons to be thankful to God on so many new levels. I thank God for answering prayers that I needed to pray even before I prayed them. I’m thankful for the little things like a painless I.V. puncture and the giant things such as making a $250,000 hospital and doctor bill evaporate in front of my eyes. While I’m thinking about that I.V. puncture, I’m also thankful that after I accidentally pulled my I.V. out, I am thankful that I was able to endure 8 tries to get a good vein to put the I.V. back in! I am just thankful that I serve a God that is so big that he can be in every aspect of my life –the big things and the small things. I hope that my words today will cause you to stop and think about all the veritable ways you can offer thanks to God too. (I apologize now for the length of this entry… but sometimes a guy has to say what a guy has to say!)

I am Thankful…
…to be alive; to able to walk; that the damage to my spinal cord was minimal; that God blessed my medical services providers –Dr. Ben White and his staff –with the hands, hearts, minds, strength and stamina to perform near miracles as they operated on me for 8 hours. And that Kevin my nurse that cared for me the night before this horrifying surgery stayed with me and talked me through my fear and anxiety. I’m thankful for the post operative care I received, for the gentleness of the nursing staff; and that my body has healed so well from such a massively invasive surgery. And, I’m also thankful for the wonderful care of Dr. Michael Keefer and his staff in the Cancer Care office(s) at Mercy and at Hefner Point. All of these people started out as doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, and now, many of them feel like friends.

I am Thankful…
…for my wife who worked day and night to help take care of me. She’s fed me, bathed me, dressed me, prayed with and for me, and she has done it all tirelessly while worrying about her own mother who is fighting her final moments with cancer and while teaching school every day possible. And, for my daughter who stays in daily contact with me, comes to see me, rubs my shoulders; and encouraged me to be a part of the ministry message of this blog site. She has reached out to me and loved me and cared for me and encouraged me on the down days and laughed and enjoyed the good days with me. She brings the little girls over to visit “Poppy” and they bring me cards they have made. And, for my son-in-law who stayed with me the night before the surgery. He has definitely seen the worst of me, and he’s still helping me! He came and installed a “handicapped” commode for me before I got home from the hospital. If there is fetching and toting – he’s my man. But the best thing about him is that he loves my daughter and his two little girls. I used to think that Damon was the “son I never had” then it dawned on me one day recently in a prayer, that he is the son God gave me.

I am Thankful..
......for my Mom & Dad for praying for me every day. They call to check on me very often. They always have their best words of encouragement for me to “bundle up, keep warm, don’t fall down, and take good care of myself.” What would I do without my parents??? What would any of us do without our parents??? And, my thankfulness extends specifically for my DAD who at almost 92 years of age prayed for me over the phone before I went down for surgery. [ I think it was the first time he had ever done anything like that!!!]
And, for my brothers and their wonderful wives. They call to check on me, jot me e-mails, keep me buckled down in the “little brother” role, and never miss a chance to take that all important swipe at my ego. Man… my brothers are great guys. They treat me like I’m still the same old me. Refreshing.

I am Thankful…
…for my job; for good insurance; for the blessing that I refer to as my boss! for a support staff and colleagues that still catch work I can’t get done; for other staff members who come by for their daily hug or that shared word of encouragement.

I am also very Thankful for…
…Mike who taught me how to live and how to die; for his wife Lori who is the image of what God had in mind for how a Christian woman is to live and act.
…Jeff and Bobbie who lead our class so successfully and who check on us all the time.
…for Harry and Cindi who have literally stood by us during this entire ride! God could not give us better best friends.
…for Scott, Josh, Mark, and our other ministers, and ministers from other churches, and our elders, and elders from other churches who came to see me in the hospital, and who still check on me,
…for Micah, who at the last minute agreed to try to find something to say over me if the surgery didn’t go well J. I told him I wasn’t speaking from a lack of faith, but I was speaking from a mind of realistic possibilities. He agreed (with a tear in his eye) and said he’d share the task with James (the next guy down.)
…for James who drove down from Lawrence, KS and helped me get settled when I came home from the Hospital, for running errands, for installing a new door knob to help improve security around home central. For checking on me, calling me, emailing me and reaching out to me.
...for Dan who a few years go suffered a very crushing injury. He has taught me not to ask the "why" questions. He taught me to ask the "why not me" questions.
...for Mark & Randy who check my blog almost every day and anways send me notes of encouragement.
...for my two brothers who stepped up to lead my discussion group on Wednesday night. They both agreed to “help” and ended up with the whole thing. Awesome men... serving an awesome God!
...for Lisa & Katie who stayed at my family's side the entire night of my surgery. Thanks for supporting my girls.
...for the 30+ people who came in to check on on my family while I was in the grueling surgery.
...my friend, brother, and doctor Jeff who came to the hospital and sat with me the night of my diagnosis. He came to comfort me and dispell my fears. Jeff will never know what that meant to me.
…for Wilma and Sam who brought my Mom and Dad to see me while I was in the hospital! Thanks so, so much.
…for Scott L. who drove from Springdale, AR to spend the afternoon with me one Sunday, and took me to help me wash our car, and who prayed for me through a few tears.
…for Kelley and Jade for their loving concern, and e-mails, and willingness to let us crash at their house when we travel down to Ada.
…for Michael who came and watched the season opener OU game with me (…and No.. I’m not an OU fan, but he was a friend who came and it made it all okay!)
…for David and his daily hug and word of encouragement.
…for the tons of folks who send me e-mails, cards, and letters. And MANY of them are dealing with their OWN life worries and health problems.
… for the ones who leave comments on the blog site, for the ones who call to check on me day after day, and who pray for me.
…that many, MANY people from all my past work, school, and church families have reconnected with us!

And… last, but certainly not least…I am Thankful to God…
…that he loves me,
…that he cares for me,
…that in spite of my callous attitudes of the past, he has lavished his good grace and blessings on me!
…for healing me
…for being there for me when I need him
…for waiting patiently when I forget to need him
…and for letting me live long enough to find my way back to him

And… this is only the tip of the iceberg. I could keep going, but even with the fear of leaving out someone I must stop. God has blessed me with friends, family, good medicine, and a loving spiritual family that helps lift the burdens. What more could a guy ask for?

Give thanks to God the Father,

Grace & Peace…and Happy Thanksgiving!

Bob

Poppy & Addy

I just loved this picture! My daddy and my Addy....can't get much better than that!!!
~kj

Good Stuff....

Greetings To All!

Before I start the Monday BLOG about my recovery, let me invite you to log back in later this week because we’ll be posting a special edition. My daughter Karyn pointed out to me a few days ago that this year (as if more than other years) there is MUCH to be thankful for. I took her remarks to heart and I will post my “I’m Thankful For…” blog on Wednesday, 11-26-08.

Now… to the really good stuff! On Friday morning I went to the oncology doctor (Michael Keefer who, like me, is 54 and born in 54). He said my blood work looked good and he was ecstatic about my condition. I asked him about the radiation and he said it looked great and that it was forcing numbers back to where they should be. He said my immune system was only slightly compromised and he was sure that I would be fine. He told me to take all the precautions about colds, flu, and hand sanitation, etc. I finished my first round of Chemotherapy last Tuesday. The next prescription arrives via UPS on this Tuesday AM, but I will have blood work on Tuesday afternoon before I start it on Wednesday AM. As much as I can tell, I have had NO ill side affects from the chemo. The radiation, not such good luck – it makes me very tired, I have a little square “sunburn” on my chest/stomach, and I glow all night and it keeps Debbie awake. OK, that last one was just a joke. But the tired part… that is a “FOR sure”.

I am now 3 weeks without using a walker!!! I’m learning to be surer on my feet. I have to remember that in addition to not being 17 any more, I have lost a lot of feeling in my feet and legs. When I get up from a chair, if I don’t stand and get my balance, it makes for a very tricky take-off. If I balance and get my bearings, I can navigate just fine. I have to be careful to correct missteps early, and not make any jerky movements. I am fairly certain these issues will certainly keep me out of the running to be on Dancing with the Stars! …However, if being old, clumsy, and slow didn’t keep Cloris Leachman out of the line-up then maybe I still have a shot!

Make sure God is with you every step of your way this week. Depend on Him. Trust Him. Turn your heart and mind to Him! I’ll see you Wednesday.

Grace & Peace to all.

Bob

PRAYING THROUGH THE HURT

(Note: Our Church had a prayer expo this last weekend and I was asked to write a prayer about praying through the hurt. Below is the prayer I submitted. I hope it ministers to you.)

Holy Father,

You are the maker of all good things, the Supreme Being, the God of the Universe. It is humbling that as a human being, with all my frailties, I am permitted to address you face to face. I am blessed to know you and I am blessed to be in your presence. Thank you for the gracious gifts you shower upon me.

Father, you know more about me than I than I know about myself, and it is because of this intimate knowledge that I have the freedom to come before you with my prayers and desires. You know that I have suffered many hurts in my life. Some of my hurts are the results of decisions I have made that have hurt myself or others. Some of my hurts are accidental, some are intentional. Some I’ve caused on myself and some are hurts levied on me by others. And there are other hurts that are not the result of actions by any human, but just by the nature of life. Regardless where the hurts come from they cause pain; pain I am left to reconcile and resolve within the confines of your grace and holiness. I ask your forgiveness for the pain I have caused others and I ask for strength as I seek forgiveness from those I have injured.

Father I know when I experience a hurt you come near to help me carry the burden. As my loving God and Father, you want to help lift the load. Give me the peace of mind to let you help me carry the burdens that weigh me down. There are times, however, when you want me to live with my hurts and pain for a little while. It is these times that you want me to know the pain so I can appreciate the blessing of freedom when the pain is lifted.

Sometimes, God, I let my human curiosity take command of my heart and I try to understand the “why” behind the pain. But in the Proverbs you told us that we are to trust in you and that we cannot rely on our own understanding. You have also told us that you will not give us more than we can bear, and you have told us by in placing our confidence in you that we can rise victorious over the pain. Give me the hope that comes in living in your presence.

Teach me how to find joy in my hurts. Help me learn how to give you glory when my spirit is crushed under pain. Take away the fear that paralyzes me, remind me that you are with me and that you will comfort and protect me.

It is through Jesus’ Holy Name,
A-men

Trust in the Lord

A dear sister in Christ reminded me of the Proverbs 3:5 verse that says, in essence… “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.” I don’t know why all of this happened to me, but I also don’t know why it shouldn’t happen to me. About three years ago I made a conscious effort to work on my relationship with my wife and with my God. Little did I know that when I got the relationship with God in a better condition, that all of my other relationships would line up behind them. Now, let me quickly add, that all I can say is that things are better, not perfect. Ok… a lot better. But I still struggle with keeping a bridle in my mouth.

Some of you share with me that you have issues and problems in your life or in the lives of your family. Some have said, “Why?” Again, I toss it back…“Why not?” God has given you the tools that those who live without God’s grace do not have. God promised you that he would not leave you, that he would not give you more than you could handle, and that he would give you his Holy Spirit to be a counselor to help you through the hard times. God told us to rejoice in the hard times because it is an opportunity to give HIM glory.

Look forward to the hard times, not with joy and excitement because things are falling apart around you, but because it is at those times you get closer to God. And if you are not getting closer to God… then you’re walking the wrong way.

Grace & Peace to all

– Bob

THE EVIDENCE IS CHANGING…

Saturday morning, I went “sale-ing” for a couple hours. Now for those of you who may not know all of my down-falls in life, being a chronic Garage-sale-a-holic is one of them. Besides a bunch of stuff I really didn’t need I found a nice clock for my office, and a handful of Christian CD’s. One is of the “Kings of Joy” an all black male group and friends…they rock!

After I rested a few hours, Debbie and went to a late lunch and then went to the movie “Fireproof”. This movie is awesome! It stars Kirk Cameron and it is a tremendous movie. It carries a very strong message… a message every man and woman in America need to hear. It addresses the single most destructive force in any marriage –selfishness.

Even though I didn’t sleep many hours Saturday night, Sunday morning I woke feeling great. We went to church, Bible class, and then to lunch with our kids. I took Debbie home and went to the grocery store for about an hour to buy food for our church pantry drive. Then we went to evening church and to our Brother’s Keepers group meeting.

All day Saturday I leaned on my walker. But Sunday… all day… I did not use the walker at all! I decided that if I don’t force the issue with my feet and legs, I may never get the feeling back. So, I am living the miracle that I believe God will work in my life. Like the caption at the top of this blog page… “Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change.” The evidence is changing. I’m getting stronger.

Grace & Peace to All –
Bob

Thursday Thoughts

I continue to get stronger as the days go. I’m in my 3rd week of radiation, my 4th week of steroids, and my 2nd week of chemotherapy. The only side affect is that I become more robust and handsome every day.

Now, hopefully I’ve made you laugh, and now I want to make you stop and think. (Sorry, this is just what I do.)

I always believed that people who had long illnesses would be the most prepared to “meet their maker.” I assumed that as the body became weaker, the more the mind could (would) focus on the spirit of Jesus. So, conversely, I thought those who died because of accident or injury were the ones who had to go before God with what they had; no less and no more.

The cancer that stalks me is a mouse compared to the lion of cancer that others have. But I just assumed that any diagnosis of the dreaded disease would cause me to take my soul even more serious than I do. I was sure that I would really focus on being the man God wanted me to be. However, what I have found is that I am just as tempted to sin today as I was before I knew there was cancer in my body. I believed that with the diagnosis I would become closer to God than before, that I would not be inclined to sin as I had in the past, and that I would leave this life “squeaky clean” having been given the chance to clean up prior to my exit cue. My relationship with God is certainly stronger now than before, but I made the conscious effort to repair that relationship a few years ago.

So, now my belief is this; as long as a man lives the temptation of sin is ever present. There does not seem to be a reprieve to the temptation. Satan, the chump, never lets up. He just keeps on and keeps on... trying to dig away at me. I suppose if my diagnosis was terminal with only a few days, weeks, or months left, that he would not ease up on me even then. Satan has no compassion.

My prayer for myself and for everyone else is that we recognize the lies Satan throws at us. I pray that we not fool ourselves into thinking that “we’ll have plenty of time” to give our lives to Jesus. None of us know when it will be our time to go to heaven's home, and some of us depend on a false sense of security (eg., excellent health or youth) to believe that we've got more time on earth than we may have. The only hour you know is yours for absolute certain, is the one you just finished. Turn to God. Trust him. The clock is ticking.

Grace & Peace,

Bob

Out & About

Mom & Dad got out this morning and came to Lily's soccer game. It was GREAT having him there. Lily got her first goal and ran over and said "That one was for you Poppy!" Pretty cute!!

He started his chemo pill, and is pretty tired from the radiation, but we are all just praying that his body is accepting the treatments. Thanks for your continued prayers!

God is good, ALL the time!