Things I’ve learned while living with cancer and in Recovery.
Part 6: “My life will never be the same.”
(Medical Update: I will meet with my oncologist on 11-19-09. We will talk more about the chemo, the steroids, and the remission… and how I am doing. I am having LOTS of swelling again. Look for an update a week from today… sooner, if the news is worthy.)
Tonight I went to a Celebrate Recovery leadership training program. Actually, it was more of a leadership renewal program. The education team brought us together to help us reevaluate our own recovery and to help us re-direct and re-focus our own healing as we reach out to others who are in suffering. After a few wisely chosen songs and strategically selected scripture readings, we addressed 16 questions about our recovery. Lots of soul searching those 16 questions will create for me.
Then, Randy Roper, a minister from a neighboring church came and shared with us a story of how he and his wife, with God’s amazing help, made it through the full-term still-birth of their baby daughter some 7 years ago; and then the two miscarriages that followed. Heart wrenching; touching.
Randy told about a nurse that stayed with them as they prepared for the still-birth delivery. How she catered to their needs, and how she was, in his words, “an angel of mercy.” He told us that at one point the nurse said, “You know, this will become your ‘new normal’.” When Randy said “new normal” I froze as they sunk into my mind.
I will use this concept of a “new normal” in my next few blog entries and how the events in my life (surgery, cancer, remission, recovery, etc.) have created my new normals and how they have affected my life. So, if you are following my blogs, please chew on the idea of how change (good or bad; pain or pleasure; sadness or joy) brings a “new normal” to your life. Answer this: What is the event(s) in your life that changed your life forever, and gave you a new normal?
I look forward to sharing my insights with you over the next few weeks.
Grace & Peace,
-Bob
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 5)
...Things I've Learned while Living with Cancer and in Recovery
Part 5: Temptation is as Strong now as it was Before!
I always thought that if a person was facing a major or catastrophic illness like Cancer, that making good spiritual choices would be easy. I suppose my perception was that the constant awareness of the disease would be the fence rails that would hold one on the straight and narrow. Well... not so.
I've been a person guilty of sin for my whole life -from unjustifiable sinful actions as an out of control adolescent, to poor choices I’ve made as an adult. I have hurt my wife, my family, and my God. Even in the last year I’ve made lots of mistakes, committed lots of sins, and I’ve not enjoyed a peaceful relationship with God. The fact that I was sick with cancer didn’t keep me from sin.
In short, what I’ve learned is this. I am just as tempted to sin now as I was before I got sick. Just because I had cancer this last year did not mean that I would make healthy spiritual choices. God wants to see me make good choices in my spiritual walk regardless of what condition my health is. And, God will help me (us) make those choices if we’ll just reach out to him for help.
Thanks for reading.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Part 5: Temptation is as Strong now as it was Before!
I always thought that if a person was facing a major or catastrophic illness like Cancer, that making good spiritual choices would be easy. I suppose my perception was that the constant awareness of the disease would be the fence rails that would hold one on the straight and narrow. Well... not so.
I've been a person guilty of sin for my whole life -from unjustifiable sinful actions as an out of control adolescent, to poor choices I’ve made as an adult. I have hurt my wife, my family, and my God. Even in the last year I’ve made lots of mistakes, committed lots of sins, and I’ve not enjoyed a peaceful relationship with God. The fact that I was sick with cancer didn’t keep me from sin.
In short, what I’ve learned is this. I am just as tempted to sin now as I was before I got sick. Just because I had cancer this last year did not mean that I would make healthy spiritual choices. God wants to see me make good choices in my spiritual walk regardless of what condition my health is. And, God will help me (us) make those choices if we’ll just reach out to him for help.
Thanks for reading.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 4)
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #4
4. Without FAITH, God’s GRACE means nothing.
I know that God’s grace is the spiritual transfusion that makes us whole, but for it to work at its maximum level, we have to believe in it! I have always had a hard time with my faith. I allow myself to fall into questioning and anger toward God. So, when there are issues that fully expose God’s wonderful Grace, I try to capitalize on it. This last year I have had many, many opportunities to allow my faith to capitalize on God’s Grace. For example, the chemotherapy that Dr. Keefer (“oncologist to the stars”) gives me has really worked well!!! The blood work where they track my T-Cell reading has dropped from the 1.6 to below the .06 that they can read. BUT, I have to share the most recent “GG” (God-Grace) I’ve had… Two weeks ago my doctor told me that he wanted me to have a PET scan, because he thinks I might be in remission from the cancer! I’ll tell you… it doesn’t get any better than that when we are talking about God’s Grace.
Again, as in every blog, thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. And thank you for praying for us.
Grace & Peace to you all…
Bob
Blog Post #4
4. Without FAITH, God’s GRACE means nothing.
I know that God’s grace is the spiritual transfusion that makes us whole, but for it to work at its maximum level, we have to believe in it! I have always had a hard time with my faith. I allow myself to fall into questioning and anger toward God. So, when there are issues that fully expose God’s wonderful Grace, I try to capitalize on it. This last year I have had many, many opportunities to allow my faith to capitalize on God’s Grace. For example, the chemotherapy that Dr. Keefer (“oncologist to the stars”) gives me has really worked well!!! The blood work where they track my T-Cell reading has dropped from the 1.6 to below the .06 that they can read. BUT, I have to share the most recent “GG” (God-Grace) I’ve had… Two weeks ago my doctor told me that he wanted me to have a PET scan, because he thinks I might be in remission from the cancer! I’ll tell you… it doesn’t get any better than that when we are talking about God’s Grace.
Again, as in every blog, thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. And thank you for praying for us.
Grace & Peace to you all…
Bob
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 3)
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #3
3. There are two powers at work in this world.
When the cancer was diagnosed, I couldn't help but be shocked, and frustrated. And quite frankly, I was mad at God. I thought I was a great asset to God in my ministry in the recovery program. Why would He side-line me? I worked hard for the program, and I traveled to other churches and preached about recovery-health. I took the message of God's grace to people who needed to know that God was willing to help them over come their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Why would he shut me down? Unless it wasn't God shutting me down... "A-Ha". It finally it came to me. God had nothing to do with shutting me down. It was Satan. Now I may be 100% off my rocker, but I think Satan saw what I was doing as a threat... a real honest-to-goodness threat to his underworld of sin. Never under estimate POWER… regardless of where it comes from.
Grace & Peace, this week…
Bob
Blog Post #3
3. There are two powers at work in this world.
When the cancer was diagnosed, I couldn't help but be shocked, and frustrated. And quite frankly, I was mad at God. I thought I was a great asset to God in my ministry in the recovery program. Why would He side-line me? I worked hard for the program, and I traveled to other churches and preached about recovery-health. I took the message of God's grace to people who needed to know that God was willing to help them over come their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Why would he shut me down? Unless it wasn't God shutting me down... "A-Ha". It finally it came to me. God had nothing to do with shutting me down. It was Satan. Now I may be 100% off my rocker, but I think Satan saw what I was doing as a threat... a real honest-to-goodness threat to his underworld of sin. Never under estimate POWER… regardless of where it comes from.
Grace & Peace, this week…
Bob
Monday, September 21, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 2)
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #2
2. The world we live in is a dependable world.
The world has certain things that are just true. If you shut the engines off of flying airplanes, they are going to fall out of the sky. If you ride your bicycle into the path of a semi-trailer truck, most likely you will die. And if you are cruel to your spouse, and they divorce you, don’t be shocked.
God gave us a world we can depend on so we will recognize what the boundaries are. When my surgeon told me that he thought I had lung cancer that metastasized to my spine, I was pretty shocked. You see, I was a closet smoker for years and I had watched several members of my family waste away from cancer, so it was the way it was diagnosed was the shocking to me. (Once, I quit smoking for 14 years, and then I started smoking again. So, maybe I should add “stupidity” to my list of recovery issues.)
This world is a dependable world. It is God’s way of giving us operational margins.
Grace & Peace to all…
Bob
Blog Post #2
2. The world we live in is a dependable world.
The world has certain things that are just true. If you shut the engines off of flying airplanes, they are going to fall out of the sky. If you ride your bicycle into the path of a semi-trailer truck, most likely you will die. And if you are cruel to your spouse, and they divorce you, don’t be shocked.
God gave us a world we can depend on so we will recognize what the boundaries are. When my surgeon told me that he thought I had lung cancer that metastasized to my spine, I was pretty shocked. You see, I was a closet smoker for years and I had watched several members of my family waste away from cancer, so it was the way it was diagnosed was the shocking to me. (Once, I quit smoking for 14 years, and then I started smoking again. So, maybe I should add “stupidity” to my list of recovery issues.)
This world is a dependable world. It is God’s way of giving us operational margins.
Grace & Peace to all…
Bob
Monday, September 14, 2009
Things I've Learned....(Part 1)
I’m going to try something new. The next few weeks I am going to start a blog a series… “THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER” I wish my title was a bit more “catchy” but I’m not that good. Maybe I’ll “learn a new title”… I know it will contain at least 4 posts, because I already have them written… but maybe it will grow to more. I’m going to keep them short, too. One or two short paragraphs at max! OH, and If there is something medical that I need to share… I’ll tell you. Otherwise, enjoy.
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #1: Sept 14
1. God allows us to suffer so we won’t forget where our healing comes from.
I am grateful for my cancer. That must sound very unusual. And, to my wife, who comforts me when I am in physical and emotional pain, I’m sure that may even sound like a lie. But I am grateful for it. Here's why: In II Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul told the church... “But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you. So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.
There are times when I am completely chewed up over the cancer; I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! But there are more and more times that I get to praise God for what he has done to heal me, than complain about the pain or fatigue in my body. I try, as much as I can, to give God credit & glory for every success and good day I have.
God is good!
Grace & Peace
Bob
“THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH CANCER”
Blog Post #1: Sept 14
1. God allows us to suffer so we won’t forget where our healing comes from.
I am grateful for my cancer. That must sound very unusual. And, to my wife, who comforts me when I am in physical and emotional pain, I’m sure that may even sound like a lie. But I am grateful for it. Here's why: In II Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul told the church... “But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you. So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.
There are times when I am completely chewed up over the cancer; I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! But there are more and more times that I get to praise God for what he has done to heal me, than complain about the pain or fatigue in my body. I try, as much as I can, to give God credit & glory for every success and good day I have.
God is good!
Grace & Peace
Bob
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
2 blog posts in 2 weeks - WOW!
Dear Friends & Family,
(If you don't have time to read all of this... jump to the last 2 paragraphs... )
Since all of my health issues started, I've had a significant amount of swelling in my feet, legs, and abdomen. Typically, if I don't wear my socks and shoes (compression socks, at that) then my feet swell a lot! Well, once the feet start to swell, then there go the legs. Lots of swelling. At times, my legs swell so much my slacks cuff gets stuck on my calf, so when I stand up, I have to literally reach down and pull my cuff where it should be. And then, I could clamor on all day...and night about this giant "hump" on my right side. Again, swelling, swelling and MORE swelling.
OK, now all of this is going somewhere, so hang with me.
I take my chemo-therapy (a capsule) 21 days on and 7 days off. When I take my last pill (in the 21 days cycle) I am supposed to telephone the maker of the chemo and take a survey. Then, I am to call my physicians office and report that (1) I have taken my 21st capsule, and (2) that I have called the maker of the chemo and I have taken my survey. Then, the doctor's office will fax the prescription to the "high touch" pharmacy (in Ohio). Then the next day I am supposed to telephone the pharmacy and begin the process of orchestrating the UPS delivery of the medication to my home. Once the pharmacy has the prescription filled, they have to call me and I have to have a conversation with the pharmacist to make sure I don't "share the medication, have unprotected sex with a woman of childbearing years, and that I don't donate any organs, blood, or anything else anyone might want from me" (that is all true... stupid, but true). Then... they ship the medication to me and I have to sign for it or UPS won't leave it. I'm out of breath just telling the story.
Still, I'm going someplace. Hang with me.
I took my last chemo-therapy capsule someplace around the 25th of August. Well, as you might understand (from the previous paragraph) that ordering my chemo-therapy can "slip the mind". Ok... let's be honest here... I intentionally waited a few days to call it in; then I really DID forget. So, I've been off the chemo for about 12 days. (Don't be concerned, I told my doctor what I did and he said that it would NOT hurt me...much.) Anyway, I received the chemo in Saturday's UPS delivery and I will start it tonight.
Now... here is where I'm going.
Being without the chemo for 12 days, I discovered that I have no swelling in my feet and legs. Yes, no swelling. And.. if that isn't great enough, I've also noticed that the big hump on my right side, although still there, is not as bad as it was. The swelling is going down, and there is less pain in my side. And, I'll tell you... for me that rocks! So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the chemo causes the swelling. The doctor and I have both wondered if it was caused by the steroids, the chemo, or if some of the swelling sites were tumors. Well... that worry, although frustrating, is not a worry any longer. It is the Chemo... not tumors or new cancer issues.
Continue to pray that I am moving toward remission. Because if I am in remission or near remission, and if I get to go off of all or even some of the chemo (or change to a different one) then all these swelling issues will go away. God is good, still more and more.
Grace & Peace to all.
--Bob
(If you don't have time to read all of this... jump to the last 2 paragraphs... )
Since all of my health issues started, I've had a significant amount of swelling in my feet, legs, and abdomen. Typically, if I don't wear my socks and shoes (compression socks, at that) then my feet swell a lot! Well, once the feet start to swell, then there go the legs. Lots of swelling. At times, my legs swell so much my slacks cuff gets stuck on my calf, so when I stand up, I have to literally reach down and pull my cuff where it should be. And then, I could clamor on all day...and night about this giant "hump" on my right side. Again, swelling, swelling and MORE swelling.
OK, now all of this is going somewhere, so hang with me.
I take my chemo-therapy (a capsule) 21 days on and 7 days off. When I take my last pill (in the 21 days cycle) I am supposed to telephone the maker of the chemo and take a survey. Then, I am to call my physicians office and report that (1) I have taken my 21st capsule, and (2) that I have called the maker of the chemo and I have taken my survey. Then, the doctor's office will fax the prescription to the "high touch" pharmacy (in Ohio). Then the next day I am supposed to telephone the pharmacy and begin the process of orchestrating the UPS delivery of the medication to my home. Once the pharmacy has the prescription filled, they have to call me and I have to have a conversation with the pharmacist to make sure I don't "share the medication, have unprotected sex with a woman of childbearing years, and that I don't donate any organs, blood, or anything else anyone might want from me" (that is all true... stupid, but true). Then... they ship the medication to me and I have to sign for it or UPS won't leave it. I'm out of breath just telling the story.
Still, I'm going someplace. Hang with me.
I took my last chemo-therapy capsule someplace around the 25th of August. Well, as you might understand (from the previous paragraph) that ordering my chemo-therapy can "slip the mind". Ok... let's be honest here... I intentionally waited a few days to call it in; then I really DID forget. So, I've been off the chemo for about 12 days. (Don't be concerned, I told my doctor what I did and he said that it would NOT hurt me...much.) Anyway, I received the chemo in Saturday's UPS delivery and I will start it tonight.
Now... here is where I'm going.
Being without the chemo for 12 days, I discovered that I have no swelling in my feet and legs. Yes, no swelling. And.. if that isn't great enough, I've also noticed that the big hump on my right side, although still there, is not as bad as it was. The swelling is going down, and there is less pain in my side. And, I'll tell you... for me that rocks! So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the chemo causes the swelling. The doctor and I have both wondered if it was caused by the steroids, the chemo, or if some of the swelling sites were tumors. Well... that worry, although frustrating, is not a worry any longer. It is the Chemo... not tumors or new cancer issues.
Continue to pray that I am moving toward remission. Because if I am in remission or near remission, and if I get to go off of all or even some of the chemo (or change to a different one) then all these swelling issues will go away. God is good, still more and more.
Grace & Peace to all.
--Bob
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Doctor's visit and report from 9-1-09: GOOD NEWS!
Dear Friends and family...
I have intentionally held back on my blogging until I knew something to tell. Well, I think I have something to say today that will be worth hearing. I'd like to say all of this is "conclusive evidence" but I can't. It is speculation, but it is such good speculation, I can't hold back the sharing. We will know more in about 6 weeks, but this is what happened yesterday...
Yesterday, September 1, 2009 I went to see Dr. Michael Keefer. He is the Oncologist that takes care of me. In the course of my appointment. He said, "I want you to have a PT scan sometime in the next month to 6 weeks." (Now, I've been told that a PT Scan is the most conclusive of all the scans and it is "the" test above all tests to verify where the cancer is.) And before I could ask, "why?", he said... "I think you might be in remission."
This is the first time that Dr. Keefer has said anything about me being "in remission", or that it is even possible for me to go into remission. He went on to explain that my blood work (where my cancer is tracked) is so low it is almost impossible to detect. And for the third appointment in a row, he said, "I wish my other patients were doing as well as you are!"
He said if I was in remission (again, we know more in 30 to 45 days) then he plans to take me off of some of the medication, or at least alter the medication I am on. He says there are other chemo-pills I can take that might be a little easier on my system, and if all goes well, he plans to reduce the steroids.
Well, it won't come as a surprise, but I cried a little. Dr. Keefer and I talked about how God's grace was evident in my life, and how he, as an oncologist, was able to see God's grace every day. He hugged me, and I thanked him for being my doctor. It was about the best doctor's appointment ever.
Prayer request: What EVER you are praying for me... don't stop. Please pray that I am in remission, and that Dr. Keefer continues to treat me with the best medication possible. Oh, and he still says the big ugly hump on my right side will eventually go away. He says it is not a tumor, it is just swelling and possible it is swelling because of the steroids and/or the chemo.
And, I do want to apologize for not blogging these last 3 months. I really didn't have much to report, and I'll be honest...a little frustration goes a long, long way for those of us who suffer with depression. But, I'll try share more often than I have in the past. Thank you for your prayers, concerns, cards, and calls. I am thankful for each of you.
God is good...
Grace & Peace,
--Bob
I have intentionally held back on my blogging until I knew something to tell. Well, I think I have something to say today that will be worth hearing. I'd like to say all of this is "conclusive evidence" but I can't. It is speculation, but it is such good speculation, I can't hold back the sharing. We will know more in about 6 weeks, but this is what happened yesterday...
Yesterday, September 1, 2009 I went to see Dr. Michael Keefer. He is the Oncologist that takes care of me. In the course of my appointment. He said, "I want you to have a PT scan sometime in the next month to 6 weeks." (Now, I've been told that a PT Scan is the most conclusive of all the scans and it is "the" test above all tests to verify where the cancer is.) And before I could ask, "why?", he said... "I think you might be in remission."
This is the first time that Dr. Keefer has said anything about me being "in remission", or that it is even possible for me to go into remission. He went on to explain that my blood work (where my cancer is tracked) is so low it is almost impossible to detect. And for the third appointment in a row, he said, "I wish my other patients were doing as well as you are!"
He said if I was in remission (again, we know more in 30 to 45 days) then he plans to take me off of some of the medication, or at least alter the medication I am on. He says there are other chemo-pills I can take that might be a little easier on my system, and if all goes well, he plans to reduce the steroids.
Well, it won't come as a surprise, but I cried a little. Dr. Keefer and I talked about how God's grace was evident in my life, and how he, as an oncologist, was able to see God's grace every day. He hugged me, and I thanked him for being my doctor. It was about the best doctor's appointment ever.
Prayer request: What EVER you are praying for me... don't stop. Please pray that I am in remission, and that Dr. Keefer continues to treat me with the best medication possible. Oh, and he still says the big ugly hump on my right side will eventually go away. He says it is not a tumor, it is just swelling and possible it is swelling because of the steroids and/or the chemo.
And, I do want to apologize for not blogging these last 3 months. I really didn't have much to report, and I'll be honest...a little frustration goes a long, long way for those of us who suffer with depression. But, I'll try share more often than I have in the past. Thank you for your prayers, concerns, cards, and calls. I am thankful for each of you.
God is good...
Grace & Peace,
--Bob
Monday, May 4, 2009
Monday Update.....
Dear Friends and Family,
It seems that every week or two I tell you that my blood work is great and that I am doing well. And, again, this week, I have that same kind of information. Last week I was in the doctor's offices and labs. I got the results of my lab work in the doctor's office on Friday morning and It was perfect. My Para-protein (where the cancer is tracked) was down to a 0.18 from the 0.2. Not a huge drop, but any drop is a drop. The A1C (90 day blood sugar evaluation) was down to a 5.6!! Back a few years ago I remember my blood sugar was up to 12.0 once... then down to a 10.5 My doctor has been astounded I have fixed the blood sugar over the last few years. It is almost un-heard of to move the A1C down so much in a such a short time.
My biggest problems at this point is not the diabetes or the cancer. The biggest issue I deal with is adjustment to the residual issues of the back surgery. My legs continue to get weaker and weaker. I don't have any stamina and it is commonly considered by my doctors that all of the fatigue and weakness is secondary to the chemo-therapy. I have asked the doctor to take me off of the chemo-therapy right now. At least for a while. My doctor told me to evaluate my situation and decide which was most important... what the chemo was doing FOR me ---AND--- what the chemo was doing TO me. So, I'll be on Chemo for a while longer.
I am reminded more and more each day how important my family is to me. Granted, there was a time when my little grand baby girls would grate on me... but now... I love being around them. Of course my daughter and my son-in-law are my favorites. They are such wonderful people. But, my wife, Debbie is my best bud. She helps me the likes of which no one would ever know. I love her and appreciate her. She's got some hip/knee/back problems right now and she's in some significant pain. And, the death of her loving mom (back in December) has affected us both very much. If I could just make one little encouragement to my readers -- don't take family for granted. Keep them close. They are the ones who will be there for you when you need someone the most.
Continue to pray for us
Grace & Peace,
Bob
It seems that every week or two I tell you that my blood work is great and that I am doing well. And, again, this week, I have that same kind of information. Last week I was in the doctor's offices and labs. I got the results of my lab work in the doctor's office on Friday morning and It was perfect. My Para-protein (where the cancer is tracked) was down to a 0.18 from the 0.2. Not a huge drop, but any drop is a drop. The A1C (90 day blood sugar evaluation) was down to a 5.6!! Back a few years ago I remember my blood sugar was up to 12.0 once... then down to a 10.5 My doctor has been astounded I have fixed the blood sugar over the last few years. It is almost un-heard of to move the A1C down so much in a such a short time.
My biggest problems at this point is not the diabetes or the cancer. The biggest issue I deal with is adjustment to the residual issues of the back surgery. My legs continue to get weaker and weaker. I don't have any stamina and it is commonly considered by my doctors that all of the fatigue and weakness is secondary to the chemo-therapy. I have asked the doctor to take me off of the chemo-therapy right now. At least for a while. My doctor told me to evaluate my situation and decide which was most important... what the chemo was doing FOR me ---AND--- what the chemo was doing TO me. So, I'll be on Chemo for a while longer.
I am reminded more and more each day how important my family is to me. Granted, there was a time when my little grand baby girls would grate on me... but now... I love being around them. Of course my daughter and my son-in-law are my favorites. They are such wonderful people. But, my wife, Debbie is my best bud. She helps me the likes of which no one would ever know. I love her and appreciate her. She's got some hip/knee/back problems right now and she's in some significant pain. And, the death of her loving mom (back in December) has affected us both very much. If I could just make one little encouragement to my readers -- don't take family for granted. Keep them close. They are the ones who will be there for you when you need someone the most.
Continue to pray for us
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Changing Someone’s Day
I’m sorry this is late, but I’ve had a bizarre week so far. I went in for blood work last week, and asked my doctor’s office to let me know how it turned out. So, on Friday he called me and told me that my blood work had proved, yet once again, that my numbers are still good. The blood thinner I am taking has my blood at a “perfect consistency”. I continue to thank God for taking care of me. Remember, next week I’ll be in DC. Pray for me. This will be the first time I’ve been on a plane since my surgery and I’ll be without my “primary care giver” (my wife Debbie). And I am a little uneasy about it. But, I’ll make it just fine… I’ll make it just fine…I’ll make it just fine… I’ll make it just fine. (Nope… I’m not quite convinced!)
This morning I had an opportunity to change the course of a person’s day, and I’m glad I took the opportunity.
I went to breakfast at one of my favorite local cafés. As I prepared to leave my server was telling her co-workers about “the man in the orange sweatshirt” who had stiffed her on a ticket. She repeatedly complained about the man and the fact that he took advantage of her by walking out without paying. Quite frankly, I was growing tired of her constant haranguing. But, I still felt bad for her. I wondered if she had to pay any ticket that she allowed to “walk” without paying.
As I approached her I handed her more money than my meal and tip would have amounted to. She started to get my change, but I stopped her. I said, “I can’t really do much about the fact that the guy walked out without paying, but I can make a difference about the tip he should have left you.” And with that I handed her the money in my hand.
A very surprised look crossed her face, and she said, “Oh, no… you can’t do that!” I assured her I could, and that I wanted to help make it up to her. I added, “I hope your day goes better!” As I exited the restaurant I heard her say to her co-worker, “Hey, now you won’t believe what this guy just did!”
It wasn’t much, but my actions validated her as a person. Rather than seeing herself as a victim of a “walking ticket” maybe she was able to see herself in a more positive light.
Five extra dollars wasn’t much, but it changed her day, and honestly, it changed my day too.
Now, YOU have a good day!
--Bob
This morning I had an opportunity to change the course of a person’s day, and I’m glad I took the opportunity.
I went to breakfast at one of my favorite local cafés. As I prepared to leave my server was telling her co-workers about “the man in the orange sweatshirt” who had stiffed her on a ticket. She repeatedly complained about the man and the fact that he took advantage of her by walking out without paying. Quite frankly, I was growing tired of her constant haranguing. But, I still felt bad for her. I wondered if she had to pay any ticket that she allowed to “walk” without paying.
As I approached her I handed her more money than my meal and tip would have amounted to. She started to get my change, but I stopped her. I said, “I can’t really do much about the fact that the guy walked out without paying, but I can make a difference about the tip he should have left you.” And with that I handed her the money in my hand.
A very surprised look crossed her face, and she said, “Oh, no… you can’t do that!” I assured her I could, and that I wanted to help make it up to her. I added, “I hope your day goes better!” As I exited the restaurant I heard her say to her co-worker, “Hey, now you won’t believe what this guy just did!”
It wasn’t much, but my actions validated her as a person. Rather than seeing herself as a victim of a “walking ticket” maybe she was able to see herself in a more positive light.
Five extra dollars wasn’t much, but it changed her day, and honestly, it changed my day too.
Now, YOU have a good day!
--Bob
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday Update
Friends...
I came in to check out the blogspot, and look at the comments others have left. Thanks to all who read and comment. Of the commenters of course I see my nephew Randy... apparently he checks it nearly every day... (Thanks, dude... I appreciate your prayers and your concern for me.) And, I see Kelley... a friend who is closer than a brother (or son). What could I possibly say to convey how much I appreciate all of your prayers and concern for me?
I read back over some of my blogs as of recent and it seems that I report both the good and the bad, but it has been a long time since I've mentioned the really hard things that wash over me. Today, for example, I've had a very hard day. I didn't get much sleep last night. (I spent the afternoon with the H&R Block people... and, as you might guess, it wasn't a social visit. So, I was awake until 3am looking for deductions. If I don't find them, Barak can thank Debbie and me for funding the bulk of his stimulus package.) But, all kidding aside, I didn't have a good day, and I allowed depression to sweep over me. I did not feel like going to assembly today; I just stayed home and rested. After I caught up on my sleep, I did feel better. One of my greatest frustrations is that I have to realize there are things I just can't do any more. Simply bending over to put on my socks and shoes has to be a series of calculated movements. The steel rods and titanium cage in my back don't have the "bend" that real bones do and I am trying to take care of them so I don't have to repeat the back surgery anytime soon. So, part of my recovery is finding new things I can do, or polishing up things I've not done very well. The cancer and the back surgery is for sure the "big deal" in my life that has gotten my attention.
I had a WONDERFUL day Saturday! (Well other than pesky tax thing.) I got out Saturday morning and watched Lily (granddaughter #1) play soccer! She made two goals. (Well, there might have been a 3rd one, but all the girls were "clumped up" in one spot and it was hard to see which tiny leg was hers, but I think it was the one with the pink soccer cleats...which are on Lily's feet!) Other than getting beyond the concept that 5 year olds playing soccer is very similar to "herding field mice", the game was really fun to watch. Even the 1/4 mile walk to the field wasn't bad!
I promised myself I would not "blog on and on" when I write these, so I'll hush. Please continue to pray for me.
Grace & Peace to all.
-Bob
I came in to check out the blogspot, and look at the comments others have left. Thanks to all who read and comment. Of the commenters of course I see my nephew Randy... apparently he checks it nearly every day... (Thanks, dude... I appreciate your prayers and your concern for me.) And, I see Kelley... a friend who is closer than a brother (or son). What could I possibly say to convey how much I appreciate all of your prayers and concern for me?
I read back over some of my blogs as of recent and it seems that I report both the good and the bad, but it has been a long time since I've mentioned the really hard things that wash over me. Today, for example, I've had a very hard day. I didn't get much sleep last night. (I spent the afternoon with the H&R Block people... and, as you might guess, it wasn't a social visit. So, I was awake until 3am looking for deductions. If I don't find them, Barak can thank Debbie and me for funding the bulk of his stimulus package.) But, all kidding aside, I didn't have a good day, and I allowed depression to sweep over me. I did not feel like going to assembly today; I just stayed home and rested. After I caught up on my sleep, I did feel better. One of my greatest frustrations is that I have to realize there are things I just can't do any more. Simply bending over to put on my socks and shoes has to be a series of calculated movements. The steel rods and titanium cage in my back don't have the "bend" that real bones do and I am trying to take care of them so I don't have to repeat the back surgery anytime soon. So, part of my recovery is finding new things I can do, or polishing up things I've not done very well. The cancer and the back surgery is for sure the "big deal" in my life that has gotten my attention.
I had a WONDERFUL day Saturday! (Well other than pesky tax thing.) I got out Saturday morning and watched Lily (granddaughter #1) play soccer! She made two goals. (Well, there might have been a 3rd one, but all the girls were "clumped up" in one spot and it was hard to see which tiny leg was hers, but I think it was the one with the pink soccer cleats...which are on Lily's feet!) Other than getting beyond the concept that 5 year olds playing soccer is very similar to "herding field mice", the game was really fun to watch. Even the 1/4 mile walk to the field wasn't bad!
I promised myself I would not "blog on and on" when I write these, so I'll hush. Please continue to pray for me.
Grace & Peace to all.
-Bob
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Please Continue to Pray
Friends & Family...
I went to the Doctor's office on Friday 3-27. There isn't much to report, actually... except that my blood thinner is working very well, and my PT/INR is "perfect". So... continue to pray that the thinner will continue to work and I will not have any more blood clots.
Now, here's a new prayer request. I am flying to Washington DC for our national blind agency conference on April 21 (which just happens to be my wife's birthday. And since I'd like to live long enough to see MY next birthday, I won't tell you which one this is for her.) This will be my first major trip since my surgery and diagnosis, so to say I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I have contacted the hotel and asked them for some special accommodations (walk-in shower, extra pillows, close to the elevator, etc.) So, pray that I can make it without any major hitches. I've not exactly figured out how to keep from setting off the metal-detector at the Airport, but, hey... if they want to see my zipper... I'll take my shirt off.
Grace & Peace to all...
Bob
I went to the Doctor's office on Friday 3-27. There isn't much to report, actually... except that my blood thinner is working very well, and my PT/INR is "perfect". So... continue to pray that the thinner will continue to work and I will not have any more blood clots.
Now, here's a new prayer request. I am flying to Washington DC for our national blind agency conference on April 21 (which just happens to be my wife's birthday. And since I'd like to live long enough to see MY next birthday, I won't tell you which one this is for her.) This will be my first major trip since my surgery and diagnosis, so to say I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I have contacted the hotel and asked them for some special accommodations (walk-in shower, extra pillows, close to the elevator, etc.) So, pray that I can make it without any major hitches. I've not exactly figured out how to keep from setting off the metal-detector at the Airport, but, hey... if they want to see my zipper... I'll take my shirt off.
Grace & Peace to all...
Bob
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Blog groupies...
Good morning. I hope this finds you well. Things seem to be going well for me right now. I tend to have a little dizziness from time to time, but all in all I’m OK. There is some really good news for me... I got to re-start my chemotherapy last week. That means that the Coumadin is working well enough that the fear of blood clots reforming in my legs is less, and that I can get the good medication in my system that will do the most healing in reference to the cancer.
Also, oddly enough, my blood sugars appear to be well under control. I consistently have days where my morning blood test reveals a blood sugar of below 90. Occasionally I’ll have a 100, but that is more the exception than the rule.
Another thing is that I have re-enlisted to teach Bible class at church. I wrote our education minister yesterday and told him that my health, not-with-standing, I would like to go back on the substitute teacher list. I can’t teach every week, and I can’t be his “last minute ace in the hole”, but I do want to teach when I can. I love teaching God’s word. And... having this dreaded disease shouldn’t eliminate me from one of my greatest joys of life. I don’t play golf, fish, or hunt. So, maybe I can teach at least every-so-often.
I still try to adjust myself to the cancer and I try to make myself believe that it isn’t “all that bad” when in actuality, it really stinks. There are lots of days I don’t feel good, and there are many days that my fatigue level has maxed out by 10AM. But, I am alive, I am on “the north side of the dirt”, and I can walk. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with family and friends who stick close.
If you are praying for me, please continue to do so. Also pray for my family because on the really hard days, it is tough on them.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
PS... I also want to wish my wonderful, amazing daughter a happy birthday. She's the best kid ever, and continually brings her mother & I joy!!!!! (Yeah, yeah....okay this is really Karyn writing! It's part of the joys of being the blog editor! ha ha) ; )
Also, oddly enough, my blood sugars appear to be well under control. I consistently have days where my morning blood test reveals a blood sugar of below 90. Occasionally I’ll have a 100, but that is more the exception than the rule.
Another thing is that I have re-enlisted to teach Bible class at church. I wrote our education minister yesterday and told him that my health, not-with-standing, I would like to go back on the substitute teacher list. I can’t teach every week, and I can’t be his “last minute ace in the hole”, but I do want to teach when I can. I love teaching God’s word. And... having this dreaded disease shouldn’t eliminate me from one of my greatest joys of life. I don’t play golf, fish, or hunt. So, maybe I can teach at least every-so-often.
I still try to adjust myself to the cancer and I try to make myself believe that it isn’t “all that bad” when in actuality, it really stinks. There are lots of days I don’t feel good, and there are many days that my fatigue level has maxed out by 10AM. But, I am alive, I am on “the north side of the dirt”, and I can walk. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with family and friends who stick close.
If you are praying for me, please continue to do so. Also pray for my family because on the really hard days, it is tough on them.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
PS... I also want to wish my wonderful, amazing daughter a happy birthday. She's the best kid ever, and continually brings her mother & I joy!!!!! (Yeah, yeah....okay this is really Karyn writing! It's part of the joys of being the blog editor! ha ha) ; )
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Faithful Blog Readers...
I thought I'd let you know that I got some good news at the Doctor's office this AM. You all know I've been off the chemo therapy for a couple months because it causes blood clots. I've been a little concerned about my para-protein level because this (as I understand) is where the cancer is tracked. Here is the way it has stacked up these last few months.
October 1.6 (which is high)
November 0.6 (much better)
December 0.2 (great - near normal)
And after being off of the chemo for almost all of January and all of February the protein level was 0.3...which is still GREAT!
ALSO... the coumadin (blood thinner) has my blood at almost perfect consistency, so I expect to start the chemo back up again in a week or so. I'll let you know more as it unfolds before me.
Please continue to pray for me... and Debbie. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I believe in specific prayers. I think God wants us to think through our prayer requests; I believe it is part of that personal relationship he wants with us. So, I ask that you specifically pray that the blood clots go completely away, and that my circulatory system is returned to normal so the blood will do its job as it carries the medicine through my body.
Grace & Peace to you all.
--Bob
October 1.6 (which is high)
November 0.6 (much better)
December 0.2 (great - near normal)
And after being off of the chemo for almost all of January and all of February the protein level was 0.3...which is still GREAT!
ALSO... the coumadin (blood thinner) has my blood at almost perfect consistency, so I expect to start the chemo back up again in a week or so. I'll let you know more as it unfolds before me.
Please continue to pray for me... and Debbie. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I believe in specific prayers. I think God wants us to think through our prayer requests; I believe it is part of that personal relationship he wants with us. So, I ask that you specifically pray that the blood clots go completely away, and that my circulatory system is returned to normal so the blood will do its job as it carries the medicine through my body.
Grace & Peace to you all.
--Bob
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Greetings Faithful Friends
I glanced back over the last few months and I noticed that my recovery blog has not gone over 5500 hits. I wonder how many different people that 5500+ represents, but it has to be several. So, I start today's blog entry with a note of appreciation.
I lost track months ago as to how many cards we have received, 100s of e-mails, phone calls, food brought in, visits, and etc. I think sending e-mails every week or every few weeks is great, but there are even some people who mail me cards via the US Postal Service... that's the people who sell first class postage stamps for 42 cents!!! That, is above and beyond! So, to those of you who have reached out with the notes, the calls, the visits and all, I say thank you. And for those of you who drag my old rusty sin-stained name before God in prayer, well, thank you too. And please, if you are praying for me. Please do not stop! I attribute my success in recovery to the thousands of prayers that have been prayed on my behalf. So, thank you... thank you so, much.
Right now, I have no major health changes to report. I was taken off of the chemo-therapy in early January because it was causing blood clots in my legs. I really expect that I'll go back on the chemo in the next week or so. The blood clots caused the doctor to put me on Lasix to thin my blood and we're having a hard time finding the exact dose that will thin it without making me a bleeder candidate.
I am supposed to see the doctor this week, if I get any news, I'll let you know.
Again... thank you for your care. I never really understood how much I was loved until all of this happened.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
I lost track months ago as to how many cards we have received, 100s of e-mails, phone calls, food brought in, visits, and etc. I think sending e-mails every week or every few weeks is great, but there are even some people who mail me cards via the US Postal Service... that's the people who sell first class postage stamps for 42 cents!!! That, is above and beyond! So, to those of you who have reached out with the notes, the calls, the visits and all, I say thank you. And for those of you who drag my old rusty sin-stained name before God in prayer, well, thank you too. And please, if you are praying for me. Please do not stop! I attribute my success in recovery to the thousands of prayers that have been prayed on my behalf. So, thank you... thank you so, much.
Right now, I have no major health changes to report. I was taken off of the chemo-therapy in early January because it was causing blood clots in my legs. I really expect that I'll go back on the chemo in the next week or so. The blood clots caused the doctor to put me on Lasix to thin my blood and we're having a hard time finding the exact dose that will thin it without making me a bleeder candidate.
I am supposed to see the doctor this week, if I get any news, I'll let you know.
Again... thank you for your care. I never really understood how much I was loved until all of this happened.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Just An Old Fashioned Update...
Having only been to the doctor's office twice since my last blog I am left frightfully short of medical news to report. But if you know me at all, I can take "take two aspirin and call me in the morning," and turn it into either a medical text book or a three-volume novel. So, to take the reader's feelings into mind for this entry, I’ll be brief.
First, in my last blog I noted that the doctor was fiddling around with my medication to get my blood to the right consistency…(sounds like I’m talking about a sauce to pour over a cut of pork, huh?) And, having taken the medication at 7 days of staggering doses of 5mg to 7.5mg it was decided that just taking 5mg every day would be ok. We’ll see.
I am told that the blood clot(s) are out of the dangerous level. I take the Lasix to purge fluid from my system and hopefully get the swelling to go down (primarily in the left leg). I am also told that I may never get the swelling to go completely away. Again, we’ll see.
In many of my blog entries I try to toss out and idea or concept that might make a difference in your life as it has made a difference in my life. So, here is today’s thought. I wish it were original with me, but it isn’t. I got it from our preacher this morning.
He used the concept of “first responders” and drew from a story of one of the first responders in the world trade towers. Then he dialed over to idea of “spiritual (or prayerful) first responders” and talked about what they would do and how they would act. So, here are my words of encouragement. Are you a first responder? Are you one of the people who look for and reach out to others who are in need or who are hurting? I know some of you are because I know who some of my blog readers are, and I just know what kind of person you are. And many of you have reached out to my family and to others who are in hurt and in need.
Now I just want to say a word about my own sense of duty as a “first responder”. I’m not good at it. There are people that I reach out to because I know them and because I have a previous relationship with them. I know them from either church or work and it is easier to offer those words of encouragement and support. However, I’m not so willing to reach out to the stranger in need. I guess it could be that several attempts at trying to be helpful to others have proven disastrous. But having admitted my own weakness in this, I still try when I can. I try to be extra kind to people who I sense can use a kind word. Then there are times that just being kind is not enough.
First responders are rarely forgotten by those they help. I hope we all become memorable people.
Grace & Peace
Bob
First, in my last blog I noted that the doctor was fiddling around with my medication to get my blood to the right consistency…(sounds like I’m talking about a sauce to pour over a cut of pork, huh?) And, having taken the medication at 7 days of staggering doses of 5mg to 7.5mg it was decided that just taking 5mg every day would be ok. We’ll see.
I am told that the blood clot(s) are out of the dangerous level. I take the Lasix to purge fluid from my system and hopefully get the swelling to go down (primarily in the left leg). I am also told that I may never get the swelling to go completely away. Again, we’ll see.
In many of my blog entries I try to toss out and idea or concept that might make a difference in your life as it has made a difference in my life. So, here is today’s thought. I wish it were original with me, but it isn’t. I got it from our preacher this morning.
He used the concept of “first responders” and drew from a story of one of the first responders in the world trade towers. Then he dialed over to idea of “spiritual (or prayerful) first responders” and talked about what they would do and how they would act. So, here are my words of encouragement. Are you a first responder? Are you one of the people who look for and reach out to others who are in need or who are hurting? I know some of you are because I know who some of my blog readers are, and I just know what kind of person you are. And many of you have reached out to my family and to others who are in hurt and in need.
Now I just want to say a word about my own sense of duty as a “first responder”. I’m not good at it. There are people that I reach out to because I know them and because I have a previous relationship with them. I know them from either church or work and it is easier to offer those words of encouragement and support. However, I’m not so willing to reach out to the stranger in need. I guess it could be that several attempts at trying to be helpful to others have proven disastrous. But having admitted my own weakness in this, I still try when I can. I try to be extra kind to people who I sense can use a kind word. Then there are times that just being kind is not enough.
First responders are rarely forgotten by those they help. I hope we all become memorable people.
Grace & Peace
Bob
Thursday, January 29, 2009
God’s Unbelievable Blessings!
I went to the Doctor 1-26-09 for a little quick blood work. Three-and-a-half hours later, I left his office and headed home. Wow…but it is OK. The blood work showed that the coumadin was thinning my blood too much, so he decided to have me not take it for a few days. On Wednesday we’ll re-check it then he will adjust it.
Before I left I asked about the CT scan they took last Thursday. He pulled up the information and told me the greatest news I could hope for… he said, “No new cancer” and then he babbled on for a little while about everything looking much better, tumors being smaller, and that the treatment was working very well. But, the “no new cancer” comment was the one that got my attention.
We talked about the tumor on the rib on the right side. He said that the CT scan showed that involved in the swelling was the possibility of a fracture in the rib. He’s not really sure, but his educated opinion was to hold off for a little while and see if it improved in the next few weeks.
Then, he recommended that I stay off the chemo-therapy for about a month. He said that the blood clot that was in my leg was (again in his opinion) most likely caused by the chemo. He said that two of the primary drugs in the chemo when administered individually did not cause blood clots. However, when combined there was a 1 in 5 chance that it would cause clots… (Just call me Mr. Lucky).
So, let’s back up just a tad. My blood is too thin now and he needs to have me stay off the thinner for a few days and readjust. The tumor on the right rib might be a fracture? No Chemo for a month because it was most likely the culprit of the blood clots? And my take on all of this is an enjoyment of God’s unbelievable blessings? Absolutely! Just think about it. No new cancer! I could be dealing with new cancer, no way to fix the blood clots, more surgery for the rib, and whole list of other things. But, God has blessed me again.
I have been feeling better these last few days, even though my back has still had some pain, I’m better.
The icy weather has me house-bound for a few days, but that is OK. I have some office work here that will keep me busy.
Blessed, I tell you… I am blessed!
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Before I left I asked about the CT scan they took last Thursday. He pulled up the information and told me the greatest news I could hope for… he said, “No new cancer” and then he babbled on for a little while about everything looking much better, tumors being smaller, and that the treatment was working very well. But, the “no new cancer” comment was the one that got my attention.
We talked about the tumor on the rib on the right side. He said that the CT scan showed that involved in the swelling was the possibility of a fracture in the rib. He’s not really sure, but his educated opinion was to hold off for a little while and see if it improved in the next few weeks.
Then, he recommended that I stay off the chemo-therapy for about a month. He said that the blood clot that was in my leg was (again in his opinion) most likely caused by the chemo. He said that two of the primary drugs in the chemo when administered individually did not cause blood clots. However, when combined there was a 1 in 5 chance that it would cause clots… (Just call me Mr. Lucky).
So, let’s back up just a tad. My blood is too thin now and he needs to have me stay off the thinner for a few days and readjust. The tumor on the right rib might be a fracture? No Chemo for a month because it was most likely the culprit of the blood clots? And my take on all of this is an enjoyment of God’s unbelievable blessings? Absolutely! Just think about it. No new cancer! I could be dealing with new cancer, no way to fix the blood clots, more surgery for the rib, and whole list of other things. But, God has blessed me again.
I have been feeling better these last few days, even though my back has still had some pain, I’m better.
The icy weather has me house-bound for a few days, but that is OK. I have some office work here that will keep me busy.
Blessed, I tell you… I am blessed!
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
An Update
A few weeks ago I said that medical news for me comes in rather slow now. Well, that seems to have changed. Right now, things are changing, but not totally for the best. But, we're holding out for the good that will come of all of this.
About a week (10 days) ago I started having some swelling in my left leg and foot. I was a little concerned, but not worried. I called the doctor's office and they called in a script to get some water out of my system. After a few days of the lasix there was no change. I kept my appointment with my oncologist on Monday morning (01-19-09) and he decided that to be safe we'd better do a echocardiogram on my heart and ultrasound on my leg. Well, the heart test was fine, but the ultrasound detected a blood clot in the left leg.
With this diagnosis Dr. Keefer put me on Coumadin and Lovenox to help thin out the blood and dissolve the blood clot. Of course there is some frustration associated with all of this, and now, a little worry, but I know God is in control. Also, with this diagnosis he has also decided to have me hold off on the chemo treatments for right now. I asked him if there were other things we could do, but he seemed to think that we can try some things that will allow me to keep taking my chemo. There will be adjustments, but I'll make it. I know with God's help I will. Keep praying for me, please.
Before I close my blog entry for today, let me make one other request. Please keep in mind that I am not the only person dealing with health issues such as this. Actually, I'm really blessed in that I have lived 54 years before dealing with all of this. We have friends at church with a 17 year old daughter who is now dealing with a form of cancer. And a young man, 25 years old, with a precious family was just diagnosed with leukemia. And there are others... lots of others. So please, carve out some of your prayers for others who need to be cared for as well.
Thank you.
May God bless you.
Bob
About a week (10 days) ago I started having some swelling in my left leg and foot. I was a little concerned, but not worried. I called the doctor's office and they called in a script to get some water out of my system. After a few days of the lasix there was no change. I kept my appointment with my oncologist on Monday morning (01-19-09) and he decided that to be safe we'd better do a echocardiogram on my heart and ultrasound on my leg. Well, the heart test was fine, but the ultrasound detected a blood clot in the left leg.
With this diagnosis Dr. Keefer put me on Coumadin and Lovenox to help thin out the blood and dissolve the blood clot. Of course there is some frustration associated with all of this, and now, a little worry, but I know God is in control. Also, with this diagnosis he has also decided to have me hold off on the chemo treatments for right now. I asked him if there were other things we could do, but he seemed to think that we can try some things that will allow me to keep taking my chemo. There will be adjustments, but I'll make it. I know with God's help I will. Keep praying for me, please.
Before I close my blog entry for today, let me make one other request. Please keep in mind that I am not the only person dealing with health issues such as this. Actually, I'm really blessed in that I have lived 54 years before dealing with all of this. We have friends at church with a 17 year old daughter who is now dealing with a form of cancer. And a young man, 25 years old, with a precious family was just diagnosed with leukemia. And there are others... lots of others. So please, carve out some of your prayers for others who need to be cared for as well.
Thank you.
May God bless you.
Bob
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Little Honesty is Good for the Soul
I've been playing some pity games with myself these last few weeks. I feel much weaker now than I did weeks ago. I seem to have more numbness in my feet and legs and I also feel like I've got some numbness in my face and forehead. I’ve lamented over the pain in my back and how much more I feel it now. All in all I’ve had a fairly poor attitude. Maybe that is why I’ve not been given to sitting down and writing a blog entry two times a week. My last good news from the doctor’s office was about my paraprotein 1 level dropping from a 1.6 to a 0.2 from October to December. That is an awesome number and I’m thrilled that God has blessed me. But the chronic numbness and pain really get to me.
Tonight at our Brother’s keepers meeting, our BK leader Jeff read from a daily thought published by my old friend Max Lucado. (I was in Abilene Christian University when Max was our church’s missionary in Sao Palo, Brazil. When he and Dena Lynn would come to the States for R&R, some of my buddies and I would take him to breakfast and pick his brain. He was in the mission field and that is where we all wanted to be, he was awesome and we…well, we weren’t.) Anyway, we all know how Max’s writing has made him more famous than Louie Lamore, Zane Gray, John Grisham combined…and he now publishes a “daily thought”. Go figure.
So Jeff read this passage that was about how we tend to humanize God. We wonder how he can be everywhere all the time; maybe God is not in a single body like we are. We don’t know how God can hear all of our prayers at the same time; maybe his ears are different than ours. We can’t understand how he can be Father, Son and Holy Spirit; maybe heaven has a different makeup than we have here. We want to live before we die; he wants us to die to live. And the list went on and on….
As I sat there and listened, I was convicted in my “pity-ness”. I have a great prognosis for my cancer. For years I have suffered pain in my back, who knows… maybe it was to get me ready for the pain I have now. I tend to weep over issues that I can’t control; I’ve prayed the serenity prayer hundreds of times in these last 3 years; maybe that should help me not weep over those things that I should be finding serenity over. My chronic depression gets the best of me; maybe that is the big thing I have held on to that I need to give to God.
Before I end my blog today, I must share with you something I just received. One of the ladies from our Bible class just sent me a Hallmark e-card. It was very pretty and had a beautiful soft piano music back ground, but the message was awesome. It said, “sometimes it takes a lot of rain to produce a rainbow; don’t give up, yours is coming.” I had never thought of that but it is very true. Maybe what I’m going through right now is a lot of rain, and my rainbow is just not quite here yet.
I am blessed. My wife (and my family) supports and loves me and sticks with me in the good days and the bad days. Pray that I continue to hang on to the good in all of this.
Grace & Peace
-Bob
Tonight at our Brother’s keepers meeting, our BK leader Jeff read from a daily thought published by my old friend Max Lucado. (I was in Abilene Christian University when Max was our church’s missionary in Sao Palo, Brazil. When he and Dena Lynn would come to the States for R&R, some of my buddies and I would take him to breakfast and pick his brain. He was in the mission field and that is where we all wanted to be, he was awesome and we…well, we weren’t.) Anyway, we all know how Max’s writing has made him more famous than Louie Lamore, Zane Gray, John Grisham combined…and he now publishes a “daily thought”. Go figure.
So Jeff read this passage that was about how we tend to humanize God. We wonder how he can be everywhere all the time; maybe God is not in a single body like we are. We don’t know how God can hear all of our prayers at the same time; maybe his ears are different than ours. We can’t understand how he can be Father, Son and Holy Spirit; maybe heaven has a different makeup than we have here. We want to live before we die; he wants us to die to live. And the list went on and on….
As I sat there and listened, I was convicted in my “pity-ness”. I have a great prognosis for my cancer. For years I have suffered pain in my back, who knows… maybe it was to get me ready for the pain I have now. I tend to weep over issues that I can’t control; I’ve prayed the serenity prayer hundreds of times in these last 3 years; maybe that should help me not weep over those things that I should be finding serenity over. My chronic depression gets the best of me; maybe that is the big thing I have held on to that I need to give to God.
Before I end my blog today, I must share with you something I just received. One of the ladies from our Bible class just sent me a Hallmark e-card. It was very pretty and had a beautiful soft piano music back ground, but the message was awesome. It said, “sometimes it takes a lot of rain to produce a rainbow; don’t give up, yours is coming.” I had never thought of that but it is very true. Maybe what I’m going through right now is a lot of rain, and my rainbow is just not quite here yet.
I am blessed. My wife (and my family) supports and loves me and sticks with me in the good days and the bad days. Pray that I continue to hang on to the good in all of this.
Grace & Peace
-Bob
Monday, January 5, 2009
It's a new year, and the journey continues....
Dear Friends and Family,
First, let me apologize for not posting more recently. With the Holidays and lots of busy going on, I just seemed to not get around to it. I hope to do better in 09.
What is Really Important?
I think I have mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In the face of difficulties the tide of what is important and what is not important can shift pretty quickly. Over the years I have spent many hours pondering automobile purchases, home remodels, clothing choices, job choices, and this list goes without end. Now, the tide has changed. There are some of the things that I worried about a great deal barely rocks the needle. But the things I didn’t give much thought to before consume my thinking. I’m much more concerned about family, health, spiritual issues, and the world my grand babies will inherit. This list too can go without end.
So, the big question for me was “why?” Well, it certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I was faced with a form of cancer that took me totally by surprise. Just living became my big challenge. I had major back surgery to remove some tumors and to stabilize what the pre and post operative reports called “near paraplegia”. Taking these two giant issues into respect, I didn’t have time to worry about the small stuff. I became more devoted to the important issues in life, and the little things that dominated my thinking and sometimes worry, dissipated.
Recent Medical News:
It seems that medical news for me comes very slowly any more. I am just rolling along, doing what the medical doctors tell me, and I try to not make life miserable for anyone.
I have started trying to learn to track my blood work. The main reason for this e-mail is to report a significant decrease in the problem area (paraprotein) where my cancer comes from. A lab report back in October showed my “Gamma Paraprotein 1” as a 1.6. When I had blood drawn on 11-19-08 it had dropped to 0.6 and the lab work from 12-23-08 reports (Drum roll.......) 0.2 !!! I am told that this proves that the treatment regimen is working. And, there may not be a need for the Stem Cell if these good numbers continue. Nothing is "off the table", but we pray I won't have to go through the stem cell treatment if it isn't necessary.
As I learn more about the blood work and what it all means, I think it will help me. Part of the frustration for me is just "not knowing".
Please, continue to thank God for caring for me. Thank you for praying for me and being concerned about me.
Robert ...(a.k.a. Bob)
First, let me apologize for not posting more recently. With the Holidays and lots of busy going on, I just seemed to not get around to it. I hope to do better in 09.
What is Really Important?
I think I have mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In the face of difficulties the tide of what is important and what is not important can shift pretty quickly. Over the years I have spent many hours pondering automobile purchases, home remodels, clothing choices, job choices, and this list goes without end. Now, the tide has changed. There are some of the things that I worried about a great deal barely rocks the needle. But the things I didn’t give much thought to before consume my thinking. I’m much more concerned about family, health, spiritual issues, and the world my grand babies will inherit. This list too can go without end.
So, the big question for me was “why?” Well, it certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I was faced with a form of cancer that took me totally by surprise. Just living became my big challenge. I had major back surgery to remove some tumors and to stabilize what the pre and post operative reports called “near paraplegia”. Taking these two giant issues into respect, I didn’t have time to worry about the small stuff. I became more devoted to the important issues in life, and the little things that dominated my thinking and sometimes worry, dissipated.
Recent Medical News:
It seems that medical news for me comes very slowly any more. I am just rolling along, doing what the medical doctors tell me, and I try to not make life miserable for anyone.
I have started trying to learn to track my blood work. The main reason for this e-mail is to report a significant decrease in the problem area (paraprotein) where my cancer comes from. A lab report back in October showed my “Gamma Paraprotein 1” as a 1.6. When I had blood drawn on 11-19-08 it had dropped to 0.6 and the lab work from 12-23-08 reports (Drum roll.......) 0.2 !!! I am told that this proves that the treatment regimen is working. And, there may not be a need for the Stem Cell if these good numbers continue. Nothing is "off the table", but we pray I won't have to go through the stem cell treatment if it isn't necessary.
As I learn more about the blood work and what it all means, I think it will help me. Part of the frustration for me is just "not knowing".
Please, continue to thank God for caring for me. Thank you for praying for me and being concerned about me.
Robert ...(a.k.a. Bob)
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