Dear Friends and Family,
It seems that every week or two I tell you that my blood work is great and that I am doing well. And, again, this week, I have that same kind of information. Last week I was in the doctor's offices and labs. I got the results of my lab work in the doctor's office on Friday morning and It was perfect. My Para-protein (where the cancer is tracked) was down to a 0.18 from the 0.2. Not a huge drop, but any drop is a drop. The A1C (90 day blood sugar evaluation) was down to a 5.6!! Back a few years ago I remember my blood sugar was up to 12.0 once... then down to a 10.5 My doctor has been astounded I have fixed the blood sugar over the last few years. It is almost un-heard of to move the A1C down so much in a such a short time.
My biggest problems at this point is not the diabetes or the cancer. The biggest issue I deal with is adjustment to the residual issues of the back surgery. My legs continue to get weaker and weaker. I don't have any stamina and it is commonly considered by my doctors that all of the fatigue and weakness is secondary to the chemo-therapy. I have asked the doctor to take me off of the chemo-therapy right now. At least for a while. My doctor told me to evaluate my situation and decide which was most important... what the chemo was doing FOR me ---AND--- what the chemo was doing TO me. So, I'll be on Chemo for a while longer.
I am reminded more and more each day how important my family is to me. Granted, there was a time when my little grand baby girls would grate on me... but now... I love being around them. Of course my daughter and my son-in-law are my favorites. They are such wonderful people. But, my wife, Debbie is my best bud. She helps me the likes of which no one would ever know. I love her and appreciate her. She's got some hip/knee/back problems right now and she's in some significant pain. And, the death of her loving mom (back in December) has affected us both very much. If I could just make one little encouragement to my readers -- don't take family for granted. Keep them close. They are the ones who will be there for you when you need someone the most.
Continue to pray for us
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Monday, May 4, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Changing Someone’s Day
I’m sorry this is late, but I’ve had a bizarre week so far. I went in for blood work last week, and asked my doctor’s office to let me know how it turned out. So, on Friday he called me and told me that my blood work had proved, yet once again, that my numbers are still good. The blood thinner I am taking has my blood at a “perfect consistency”. I continue to thank God for taking care of me. Remember, next week I’ll be in DC. Pray for me. This will be the first time I’ve been on a plane since my surgery and I’ll be without my “primary care giver” (my wife Debbie). And I am a little uneasy about it. But, I’ll make it just fine… I’ll make it just fine…I’ll make it just fine… I’ll make it just fine. (Nope… I’m not quite convinced!)
This morning I had an opportunity to change the course of a person’s day, and I’m glad I took the opportunity.
I went to breakfast at one of my favorite local cafés. As I prepared to leave my server was telling her co-workers about “the man in the orange sweatshirt” who had stiffed her on a ticket. She repeatedly complained about the man and the fact that he took advantage of her by walking out without paying. Quite frankly, I was growing tired of her constant haranguing. But, I still felt bad for her. I wondered if she had to pay any ticket that she allowed to “walk” without paying.
As I approached her I handed her more money than my meal and tip would have amounted to. She started to get my change, but I stopped her. I said, “I can’t really do much about the fact that the guy walked out without paying, but I can make a difference about the tip he should have left you.” And with that I handed her the money in my hand.
A very surprised look crossed her face, and she said, “Oh, no… you can’t do that!” I assured her I could, and that I wanted to help make it up to her. I added, “I hope your day goes better!” As I exited the restaurant I heard her say to her co-worker, “Hey, now you won’t believe what this guy just did!”
It wasn’t much, but my actions validated her as a person. Rather than seeing herself as a victim of a “walking ticket” maybe she was able to see herself in a more positive light.
Five extra dollars wasn’t much, but it changed her day, and honestly, it changed my day too.
Now, YOU have a good day!
--Bob
This morning I had an opportunity to change the course of a person’s day, and I’m glad I took the opportunity.
I went to breakfast at one of my favorite local cafés. As I prepared to leave my server was telling her co-workers about “the man in the orange sweatshirt” who had stiffed her on a ticket. She repeatedly complained about the man and the fact that he took advantage of her by walking out without paying. Quite frankly, I was growing tired of her constant haranguing. But, I still felt bad for her. I wondered if she had to pay any ticket that she allowed to “walk” without paying.
As I approached her I handed her more money than my meal and tip would have amounted to. She started to get my change, but I stopped her. I said, “I can’t really do much about the fact that the guy walked out without paying, but I can make a difference about the tip he should have left you.” And with that I handed her the money in my hand.
A very surprised look crossed her face, and she said, “Oh, no… you can’t do that!” I assured her I could, and that I wanted to help make it up to her. I added, “I hope your day goes better!” As I exited the restaurant I heard her say to her co-worker, “Hey, now you won’t believe what this guy just did!”
It wasn’t much, but my actions validated her as a person. Rather than seeing herself as a victim of a “walking ticket” maybe she was able to see herself in a more positive light.
Five extra dollars wasn’t much, but it changed her day, and honestly, it changed my day too.
Now, YOU have a good day!
--Bob
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday Update
Friends...
I came in to check out the blogspot, and look at the comments others have left. Thanks to all who read and comment. Of the commenters of course I see my nephew Randy... apparently he checks it nearly every day... (Thanks, dude... I appreciate your prayers and your concern for me.) And, I see Kelley... a friend who is closer than a brother (or son). What could I possibly say to convey how much I appreciate all of your prayers and concern for me?
I read back over some of my blogs as of recent and it seems that I report both the good and the bad, but it has been a long time since I've mentioned the really hard things that wash over me. Today, for example, I've had a very hard day. I didn't get much sleep last night. (I spent the afternoon with the H&R Block people... and, as you might guess, it wasn't a social visit. So, I was awake until 3am looking for deductions. If I don't find them, Barak can thank Debbie and me for funding the bulk of his stimulus package.) But, all kidding aside, I didn't have a good day, and I allowed depression to sweep over me. I did not feel like going to assembly today; I just stayed home and rested. After I caught up on my sleep, I did feel better. One of my greatest frustrations is that I have to realize there are things I just can't do any more. Simply bending over to put on my socks and shoes has to be a series of calculated movements. The steel rods and titanium cage in my back don't have the "bend" that real bones do and I am trying to take care of them so I don't have to repeat the back surgery anytime soon. So, part of my recovery is finding new things I can do, or polishing up things I've not done very well. The cancer and the back surgery is for sure the "big deal" in my life that has gotten my attention.
I had a WONDERFUL day Saturday! (Well other than pesky tax thing.) I got out Saturday morning and watched Lily (granddaughter #1) play soccer! She made two goals. (Well, there might have been a 3rd one, but all the girls were "clumped up" in one spot and it was hard to see which tiny leg was hers, but I think it was the one with the pink soccer cleats...which are on Lily's feet!) Other than getting beyond the concept that 5 year olds playing soccer is very similar to "herding field mice", the game was really fun to watch. Even the 1/4 mile walk to the field wasn't bad!
I promised myself I would not "blog on and on" when I write these, so I'll hush. Please continue to pray for me.
Grace & Peace to all.
-Bob
I came in to check out the blogspot, and look at the comments others have left. Thanks to all who read and comment. Of the commenters of course I see my nephew Randy... apparently he checks it nearly every day... (Thanks, dude... I appreciate your prayers and your concern for me.) And, I see Kelley... a friend who is closer than a brother (or son). What could I possibly say to convey how much I appreciate all of your prayers and concern for me?
I read back over some of my blogs as of recent and it seems that I report both the good and the bad, but it has been a long time since I've mentioned the really hard things that wash over me. Today, for example, I've had a very hard day. I didn't get much sleep last night. (I spent the afternoon with the H&R Block people... and, as you might guess, it wasn't a social visit. So, I was awake until 3am looking for deductions. If I don't find them, Barak can thank Debbie and me for funding the bulk of his stimulus package.) But, all kidding aside, I didn't have a good day, and I allowed depression to sweep over me. I did not feel like going to assembly today; I just stayed home and rested. After I caught up on my sleep, I did feel better. One of my greatest frustrations is that I have to realize there are things I just can't do any more. Simply bending over to put on my socks and shoes has to be a series of calculated movements. The steel rods and titanium cage in my back don't have the "bend" that real bones do and I am trying to take care of them so I don't have to repeat the back surgery anytime soon. So, part of my recovery is finding new things I can do, or polishing up things I've not done very well. The cancer and the back surgery is for sure the "big deal" in my life that has gotten my attention.
I had a WONDERFUL day Saturday! (Well other than pesky tax thing.) I got out Saturday morning and watched Lily (granddaughter #1) play soccer! She made two goals. (Well, there might have been a 3rd one, but all the girls were "clumped up" in one spot and it was hard to see which tiny leg was hers, but I think it was the one with the pink soccer cleats...which are on Lily's feet!) Other than getting beyond the concept that 5 year olds playing soccer is very similar to "herding field mice", the game was really fun to watch. Even the 1/4 mile walk to the field wasn't bad!
I promised myself I would not "blog on and on" when I write these, so I'll hush. Please continue to pray for me.
Grace & Peace to all.
-Bob
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Please Continue to Pray
Friends & Family...
I went to the Doctor's office on Friday 3-27. There isn't much to report, actually... except that my blood thinner is working very well, and my PT/INR is "perfect". So... continue to pray that the thinner will continue to work and I will not have any more blood clots.
Now, here's a new prayer request. I am flying to Washington DC for our national blind agency conference on April 21 (which just happens to be my wife's birthday. And since I'd like to live long enough to see MY next birthday, I won't tell you which one this is for her.) This will be my first major trip since my surgery and diagnosis, so to say I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I have contacted the hotel and asked them for some special accommodations (walk-in shower, extra pillows, close to the elevator, etc.) So, pray that I can make it without any major hitches. I've not exactly figured out how to keep from setting off the metal-detector at the Airport, but, hey... if they want to see my zipper... I'll take my shirt off.
Grace & Peace to all...
Bob
I went to the Doctor's office on Friday 3-27. There isn't much to report, actually... except that my blood thinner is working very well, and my PT/INR is "perfect". So... continue to pray that the thinner will continue to work and I will not have any more blood clots.
Now, here's a new prayer request. I am flying to Washington DC for our national blind agency conference on April 21 (which just happens to be my wife's birthday. And since I'd like to live long enough to see MY next birthday, I won't tell you which one this is for her.) This will be my first major trip since my surgery and diagnosis, so to say I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I have contacted the hotel and asked them for some special accommodations (walk-in shower, extra pillows, close to the elevator, etc.) So, pray that I can make it without any major hitches. I've not exactly figured out how to keep from setting off the metal-detector at the Airport, but, hey... if they want to see my zipper... I'll take my shirt off.
Grace & Peace to all...
Bob
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Blog groupies...
Good morning. I hope this finds you well. Things seem to be going well for me right now. I tend to have a little dizziness from time to time, but all in all I’m OK. There is some really good news for me... I got to re-start my chemotherapy last week. That means that the Coumadin is working well enough that the fear of blood clots reforming in my legs is less, and that I can get the good medication in my system that will do the most healing in reference to the cancer.
Also, oddly enough, my blood sugars appear to be well under control. I consistently have days where my morning blood test reveals a blood sugar of below 90. Occasionally I’ll have a 100, but that is more the exception than the rule.
Another thing is that I have re-enlisted to teach Bible class at church. I wrote our education minister yesterday and told him that my health, not-with-standing, I would like to go back on the substitute teacher list. I can’t teach every week, and I can’t be his “last minute ace in the hole”, but I do want to teach when I can. I love teaching God’s word. And... having this dreaded disease shouldn’t eliminate me from one of my greatest joys of life. I don’t play golf, fish, or hunt. So, maybe I can teach at least every-so-often.
I still try to adjust myself to the cancer and I try to make myself believe that it isn’t “all that bad” when in actuality, it really stinks. There are lots of days I don’t feel good, and there are many days that my fatigue level has maxed out by 10AM. But, I am alive, I am on “the north side of the dirt”, and I can walk. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with family and friends who stick close.
If you are praying for me, please continue to do so. Also pray for my family because on the really hard days, it is tough on them.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
PS... I also want to wish my wonderful, amazing daughter a happy birthday. She's the best kid ever, and continually brings her mother & I joy!!!!! (Yeah, yeah....okay this is really Karyn writing! It's part of the joys of being the blog editor! ha ha) ; )
Also, oddly enough, my blood sugars appear to be well under control. I consistently have days where my morning blood test reveals a blood sugar of below 90. Occasionally I’ll have a 100, but that is more the exception than the rule.
Another thing is that I have re-enlisted to teach Bible class at church. I wrote our education minister yesterday and told him that my health, not-with-standing, I would like to go back on the substitute teacher list. I can’t teach every week, and I can’t be his “last minute ace in the hole”, but I do want to teach when I can. I love teaching God’s word. And... having this dreaded disease shouldn’t eliminate me from one of my greatest joys of life. I don’t play golf, fish, or hunt. So, maybe I can teach at least every-so-often.
I still try to adjust myself to the cancer and I try to make myself believe that it isn’t “all that bad” when in actuality, it really stinks. There are lots of days I don’t feel good, and there are many days that my fatigue level has maxed out by 10AM. But, I am alive, I am on “the north side of the dirt”, and I can walk. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with family and friends who stick close.
If you are praying for me, please continue to do so. Also pray for my family because on the really hard days, it is tough on them.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
PS... I also want to wish my wonderful, amazing daughter a happy birthday. She's the best kid ever, and continually brings her mother & I joy!!!!! (Yeah, yeah....okay this is really Karyn writing! It's part of the joys of being the blog editor! ha ha) ; )
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Faithful Blog Readers...
I thought I'd let you know that I got some good news at the Doctor's office this AM. You all know I've been off the chemo therapy for a couple months because it causes blood clots. I've been a little concerned about my para-protein level because this (as I understand) is where the cancer is tracked. Here is the way it has stacked up these last few months.
October 1.6 (which is high)
November 0.6 (much better)
December 0.2 (great - near normal)
And after being off of the chemo for almost all of January and all of February the protein level was 0.3...which is still GREAT!
ALSO... the coumadin (blood thinner) has my blood at almost perfect consistency, so I expect to start the chemo back up again in a week or so. I'll let you know more as it unfolds before me.
Please continue to pray for me... and Debbie. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I believe in specific prayers. I think God wants us to think through our prayer requests; I believe it is part of that personal relationship he wants with us. So, I ask that you specifically pray that the blood clots go completely away, and that my circulatory system is returned to normal so the blood will do its job as it carries the medicine through my body.
Grace & Peace to you all.
--Bob
October 1.6 (which is high)
November 0.6 (much better)
December 0.2 (great - near normal)
And after being off of the chemo for almost all of January and all of February the protein level was 0.3...which is still GREAT!
ALSO... the coumadin (blood thinner) has my blood at almost perfect consistency, so I expect to start the chemo back up again in a week or so. I'll let you know more as it unfolds before me.
Please continue to pray for me... and Debbie. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I believe in specific prayers. I think God wants us to think through our prayer requests; I believe it is part of that personal relationship he wants with us. So, I ask that you specifically pray that the blood clots go completely away, and that my circulatory system is returned to normal so the blood will do its job as it carries the medicine through my body.
Grace & Peace to you all.
--Bob
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Greetings Faithful Friends
I glanced back over the last few months and I noticed that my recovery blog has not gone over 5500 hits. I wonder how many different people that 5500+ represents, but it has to be several. So, I start today's blog entry with a note of appreciation.
I lost track months ago as to how many cards we have received, 100s of e-mails, phone calls, food brought in, visits, and etc. I think sending e-mails every week or every few weeks is great, but there are even some people who mail me cards via the US Postal Service... that's the people who sell first class postage stamps for 42 cents!!! That, is above and beyond! So, to those of you who have reached out with the notes, the calls, the visits and all, I say thank you. And for those of you who drag my old rusty sin-stained name before God in prayer, well, thank you too. And please, if you are praying for me. Please do not stop! I attribute my success in recovery to the thousands of prayers that have been prayed on my behalf. So, thank you... thank you so, much.
Right now, I have no major health changes to report. I was taken off of the chemo-therapy in early January because it was causing blood clots in my legs. I really expect that I'll go back on the chemo in the next week or so. The blood clots caused the doctor to put me on Lasix to thin my blood and we're having a hard time finding the exact dose that will thin it without making me a bleeder candidate.
I am supposed to see the doctor this week, if I get any news, I'll let you know.
Again... thank you for your care. I never really understood how much I was loved until all of this happened.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
I lost track months ago as to how many cards we have received, 100s of e-mails, phone calls, food brought in, visits, and etc. I think sending e-mails every week or every few weeks is great, but there are even some people who mail me cards via the US Postal Service... that's the people who sell first class postage stamps for 42 cents!!! That, is above and beyond! So, to those of you who have reached out with the notes, the calls, the visits and all, I say thank you. And for those of you who drag my old rusty sin-stained name before God in prayer, well, thank you too. And please, if you are praying for me. Please do not stop! I attribute my success in recovery to the thousands of prayers that have been prayed on my behalf. So, thank you... thank you so, much.
Right now, I have no major health changes to report. I was taken off of the chemo-therapy in early January because it was causing blood clots in my legs. I really expect that I'll go back on the chemo in the next week or so. The blood clots caused the doctor to put me on Lasix to thin my blood and we're having a hard time finding the exact dose that will thin it without making me a bleeder candidate.
I am supposed to see the doctor this week, if I get any news, I'll let you know.
Again... thank you for your care. I never really understood how much I was loved until all of this happened.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Just An Old Fashioned Update...
Having only been to the doctor's office twice since my last blog I am left frightfully short of medical news to report. But if you know me at all, I can take "take two aspirin and call me in the morning," and turn it into either a medical text book or a three-volume novel. So, to take the reader's feelings into mind for this entry, I’ll be brief.
First, in my last blog I noted that the doctor was fiddling around with my medication to get my blood to the right consistency…(sounds like I’m talking about a sauce to pour over a cut of pork, huh?) And, having taken the medication at 7 days of staggering doses of 5mg to 7.5mg it was decided that just taking 5mg every day would be ok. We’ll see.
I am told that the blood clot(s) are out of the dangerous level. I take the Lasix to purge fluid from my system and hopefully get the swelling to go down (primarily in the left leg). I am also told that I may never get the swelling to go completely away. Again, we’ll see.
In many of my blog entries I try to toss out and idea or concept that might make a difference in your life as it has made a difference in my life. So, here is today’s thought. I wish it were original with me, but it isn’t. I got it from our preacher this morning.
He used the concept of “first responders” and drew from a story of one of the first responders in the world trade towers. Then he dialed over to idea of “spiritual (or prayerful) first responders” and talked about what they would do and how they would act. So, here are my words of encouragement. Are you a first responder? Are you one of the people who look for and reach out to others who are in need or who are hurting? I know some of you are because I know who some of my blog readers are, and I just know what kind of person you are. And many of you have reached out to my family and to others who are in hurt and in need.
Now I just want to say a word about my own sense of duty as a “first responder”. I’m not good at it. There are people that I reach out to because I know them and because I have a previous relationship with them. I know them from either church or work and it is easier to offer those words of encouragement and support. However, I’m not so willing to reach out to the stranger in need. I guess it could be that several attempts at trying to be helpful to others have proven disastrous. But having admitted my own weakness in this, I still try when I can. I try to be extra kind to people who I sense can use a kind word. Then there are times that just being kind is not enough.
First responders are rarely forgotten by those they help. I hope we all become memorable people.
Grace & Peace
Bob
First, in my last blog I noted that the doctor was fiddling around with my medication to get my blood to the right consistency…(sounds like I’m talking about a sauce to pour over a cut of pork, huh?) And, having taken the medication at 7 days of staggering doses of 5mg to 7.5mg it was decided that just taking 5mg every day would be ok. We’ll see.
I am told that the blood clot(s) are out of the dangerous level. I take the Lasix to purge fluid from my system and hopefully get the swelling to go down (primarily in the left leg). I am also told that I may never get the swelling to go completely away. Again, we’ll see.
In many of my blog entries I try to toss out and idea or concept that might make a difference in your life as it has made a difference in my life. So, here is today’s thought. I wish it were original with me, but it isn’t. I got it from our preacher this morning.
He used the concept of “first responders” and drew from a story of one of the first responders in the world trade towers. Then he dialed over to idea of “spiritual (or prayerful) first responders” and talked about what they would do and how they would act. So, here are my words of encouragement. Are you a first responder? Are you one of the people who look for and reach out to others who are in need or who are hurting? I know some of you are because I know who some of my blog readers are, and I just know what kind of person you are. And many of you have reached out to my family and to others who are in hurt and in need.
Now I just want to say a word about my own sense of duty as a “first responder”. I’m not good at it. There are people that I reach out to because I know them and because I have a previous relationship with them. I know them from either church or work and it is easier to offer those words of encouragement and support. However, I’m not so willing to reach out to the stranger in need. I guess it could be that several attempts at trying to be helpful to others have proven disastrous. But having admitted my own weakness in this, I still try when I can. I try to be extra kind to people who I sense can use a kind word. Then there are times that just being kind is not enough.
First responders are rarely forgotten by those they help. I hope we all become memorable people.
Grace & Peace
Bob
Thursday, January 29, 2009
God’s Unbelievable Blessings!
I went to the Doctor 1-26-09 for a little quick blood work. Three-and-a-half hours later, I left his office and headed home. Wow…but it is OK. The blood work showed that the coumadin was thinning my blood too much, so he decided to have me not take it for a few days. On Wednesday we’ll re-check it then he will adjust it.
Before I left I asked about the CT scan they took last Thursday. He pulled up the information and told me the greatest news I could hope for… he said, “No new cancer” and then he babbled on for a little while about everything looking much better, tumors being smaller, and that the treatment was working very well. But, the “no new cancer” comment was the one that got my attention.
We talked about the tumor on the rib on the right side. He said that the CT scan showed that involved in the swelling was the possibility of a fracture in the rib. He’s not really sure, but his educated opinion was to hold off for a little while and see if it improved in the next few weeks.
Then, he recommended that I stay off the chemo-therapy for about a month. He said that the blood clot that was in my leg was (again in his opinion) most likely caused by the chemo. He said that two of the primary drugs in the chemo when administered individually did not cause blood clots. However, when combined there was a 1 in 5 chance that it would cause clots… (Just call me Mr. Lucky).
So, let’s back up just a tad. My blood is too thin now and he needs to have me stay off the thinner for a few days and readjust. The tumor on the right rib might be a fracture? No Chemo for a month because it was most likely the culprit of the blood clots? And my take on all of this is an enjoyment of God’s unbelievable blessings? Absolutely! Just think about it. No new cancer! I could be dealing with new cancer, no way to fix the blood clots, more surgery for the rib, and whole list of other things. But, God has blessed me again.
I have been feeling better these last few days, even though my back has still had some pain, I’m better.
The icy weather has me house-bound for a few days, but that is OK. I have some office work here that will keep me busy.
Blessed, I tell you… I am blessed!
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Before I left I asked about the CT scan they took last Thursday. He pulled up the information and told me the greatest news I could hope for… he said, “No new cancer” and then he babbled on for a little while about everything looking much better, tumors being smaller, and that the treatment was working very well. But, the “no new cancer” comment was the one that got my attention.
We talked about the tumor on the rib on the right side. He said that the CT scan showed that involved in the swelling was the possibility of a fracture in the rib. He’s not really sure, but his educated opinion was to hold off for a little while and see if it improved in the next few weeks.
Then, he recommended that I stay off the chemo-therapy for about a month. He said that the blood clot that was in my leg was (again in his opinion) most likely caused by the chemo. He said that two of the primary drugs in the chemo when administered individually did not cause blood clots. However, when combined there was a 1 in 5 chance that it would cause clots… (Just call me Mr. Lucky).
So, let’s back up just a tad. My blood is too thin now and he needs to have me stay off the thinner for a few days and readjust. The tumor on the right rib might be a fracture? No Chemo for a month because it was most likely the culprit of the blood clots? And my take on all of this is an enjoyment of God’s unbelievable blessings? Absolutely! Just think about it. No new cancer! I could be dealing with new cancer, no way to fix the blood clots, more surgery for the rib, and whole list of other things. But, God has blessed me again.
I have been feeling better these last few days, even though my back has still had some pain, I’m better.
The icy weather has me house-bound for a few days, but that is OK. I have some office work here that will keep me busy.
Blessed, I tell you… I am blessed!
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
An Update
A few weeks ago I said that medical news for me comes in rather slow now. Well, that seems to have changed. Right now, things are changing, but not totally for the best. But, we're holding out for the good that will come of all of this.
About a week (10 days) ago I started having some swelling in my left leg and foot. I was a little concerned, but not worried. I called the doctor's office and they called in a script to get some water out of my system. After a few days of the lasix there was no change. I kept my appointment with my oncologist on Monday morning (01-19-09) and he decided that to be safe we'd better do a echocardiogram on my heart and ultrasound on my leg. Well, the heart test was fine, but the ultrasound detected a blood clot in the left leg.
With this diagnosis Dr. Keefer put me on Coumadin and Lovenox to help thin out the blood and dissolve the blood clot. Of course there is some frustration associated with all of this, and now, a little worry, but I know God is in control. Also, with this diagnosis he has also decided to have me hold off on the chemo treatments for right now. I asked him if there were other things we could do, but he seemed to think that we can try some things that will allow me to keep taking my chemo. There will be adjustments, but I'll make it. I know with God's help I will. Keep praying for me, please.
Before I close my blog entry for today, let me make one other request. Please keep in mind that I am not the only person dealing with health issues such as this. Actually, I'm really blessed in that I have lived 54 years before dealing with all of this. We have friends at church with a 17 year old daughter who is now dealing with a form of cancer. And a young man, 25 years old, with a precious family was just diagnosed with leukemia. And there are others... lots of others. So please, carve out some of your prayers for others who need to be cared for as well.
Thank you.
May God bless you.
Bob
About a week (10 days) ago I started having some swelling in my left leg and foot. I was a little concerned, but not worried. I called the doctor's office and they called in a script to get some water out of my system. After a few days of the lasix there was no change. I kept my appointment with my oncologist on Monday morning (01-19-09) and he decided that to be safe we'd better do a echocardiogram on my heart and ultrasound on my leg. Well, the heart test was fine, but the ultrasound detected a blood clot in the left leg.
With this diagnosis Dr. Keefer put me on Coumadin and Lovenox to help thin out the blood and dissolve the blood clot. Of course there is some frustration associated with all of this, and now, a little worry, but I know God is in control. Also, with this diagnosis he has also decided to have me hold off on the chemo treatments for right now. I asked him if there were other things we could do, but he seemed to think that we can try some things that will allow me to keep taking my chemo. There will be adjustments, but I'll make it. I know with God's help I will. Keep praying for me, please.
Before I close my blog entry for today, let me make one other request. Please keep in mind that I am not the only person dealing with health issues such as this. Actually, I'm really blessed in that I have lived 54 years before dealing with all of this. We have friends at church with a 17 year old daughter who is now dealing with a form of cancer. And a young man, 25 years old, with a precious family was just diagnosed with leukemia. And there are others... lots of others. So please, carve out some of your prayers for others who need to be cared for as well.
Thank you.
May God bless you.
Bob
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Little Honesty is Good for the Soul
I've been playing some pity games with myself these last few weeks. I feel much weaker now than I did weeks ago. I seem to have more numbness in my feet and legs and I also feel like I've got some numbness in my face and forehead. I’ve lamented over the pain in my back and how much more I feel it now. All in all I’ve had a fairly poor attitude. Maybe that is why I’ve not been given to sitting down and writing a blog entry two times a week. My last good news from the doctor’s office was about my paraprotein 1 level dropping from a 1.6 to a 0.2 from October to December. That is an awesome number and I’m thrilled that God has blessed me. But the chronic numbness and pain really get to me.
Tonight at our Brother’s keepers meeting, our BK leader Jeff read from a daily thought published by my old friend Max Lucado. (I was in Abilene Christian University when Max was our church’s missionary in Sao Palo, Brazil. When he and Dena Lynn would come to the States for R&R, some of my buddies and I would take him to breakfast and pick his brain. He was in the mission field and that is where we all wanted to be, he was awesome and we…well, we weren’t.) Anyway, we all know how Max’s writing has made him more famous than Louie Lamore, Zane Gray, John Grisham combined…and he now publishes a “daily thought”. Go figure.
So Jeff read this passage that was about how we tend to humanize God. We wonder how he can be everywhere all the time; maybe God is not in a single body like we are. We don’t know how God can hear all of our prayers at the same time; maybe his ears are different than ours. We can’t understand how he can be Father, Son and Holy Spirit; maybe heaven has a different makeup than we have here. We want to live before we die; he wants us to die to live. And the list went on and on….
As I sat there and listened, I was convicted in my “pity-ness”. I have a great prognosis for my cancer. For years I have suffered pain in my back, who knows… maybe it was to get me ready for the pain I have now. I tend to weep over issues that I can’t control; I’ve prayed the serenity prayer hundreds of times in these last 3 years; maybe that should help me not weep over those things that I should be finding serenity over. My chronic depression gets the best of me; maybe that is the big thing I have held on to that I need to give to God.
Before I end my blog today, I must share with you something I just received. One of the ladies from our Bible class just sent me a Hallmark e-card. It was very pretty and had a beautiful soft piano music back ground, but the message was awesome. It said, “sometimes it takes a lot of rain to produce a rainbow; don’t give up, yours is coming.” I had never thought of that but it is very true. Maybe what I’m going through right now is a lot of rain, and my rainbow is just not quite here yet.
I am blessed. My wife (and my family) supports and loves me and sticks with me in the good days and the bad days. Pray that I continue to hang on to the good in all of this.
Grace & Peace
-Bob
Tonight at our Brother’s keepers meeting, our BK leader Jeff read from a daily thought published by my old friend Max Lucado. (I was in Abilene Christian University when Max was our church’s missionary in Sao Palo, Brazil. When he and Dena Lynn would come to the States for R&R, some of my buddies and I would take him to breakfast and pick his brain. He was in the mission field and that is where we all wanted to be, he was awesome and we…well, we weren’t.) Anyway, we all know how Max’s writing has made him more famous than Louie Lamore, Zane Gray, John Grisham combined…and he now publishes a “daily thought”. Go figure.
So Jeff read this passage that was about how we tend to humanize God. We wonder how he can be everywhere all the time; maybe God is not in a single body like we are. We don’t know how God can hear all of our prayers at the same time; maybe his ears are different than ours. We can’t understand how he can be Father, Son and Holy Spirit; maybe heaven has a different makeup than we have here. We want to live before we die; he wants us to die to live. And the list went on and on….
As I sat there and listened, I was convicted in my “pity-ness”. I have a great prognosis for my cancer. For years I have suffered pain in my back, who knows… maybe it was to get me ready for the pain I have now. I tend to weep over issues that I can’t control; I’ve prayed the serenity prayer hundreds of times in these last 3 years; maybe that should help me not weep over those things that I should be finding serenity over. My chronic depression gets the best of me; maybe that is the big thing I have held on to that I need to give to God.
Before I end my blog today, I must share with you something I just received. One of the ladies from our Bible class just sent me a Hallmark e-card. It was very pretty and had a beautiful soft piano music back ground, but the message was awesome. It said, “sometimes it takes a lot of rain to produce a rainbow; don’t give up, yours is coming.” I had never thought of that but it is very true. Maybe what I’m going through right now is a lot of rain, and my rainbow is just not quite here yet.
I am blessed. My wife (and my family) supports and loves me and sticks with me in the good days and the bad days. Pray that I continue to hang on to the good in all of this.
Grace & Peace
-Bob
Monday, January 5, 2009
It's a new year, and the journey continues....
Dear Friends and Family,
First, let me apologize for not posting more recently. With the Holidays and lots of busy going on, I just seemed to not get around to it. I hope to do better in 09.
What is Really Important?
I think I have mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In the face of difficulties the tide of what is important and what is not important can shift pretty quickly. Over the years I have spent many hours pondering automobile purchases, home remodels, clothing choices, job choices, and this list goes without end. Now, the tide has changed. There are some of the things that I worried about a great deal barely rocks the needle. But the things I didn’t give much thought to before consume my thinking. I’m much more concerned about family, health, spiritual issues, and the world my grand babies will inherit. This list too can go without end.
So, the big question for me was “why?” Well, it certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I was faced with a form of cancer that took me totally by surprise. Just living became my big challenge. I had major back surgery to remove some tumors and to stabilize what the pre and post operative reports called “near paraplegia”. Taking these two giant issues into respect, I didn’t have time to worry about the small stuff. I became more devoted to the important issues in life, and the little things that dominated my thinking and sometimes worry, dissipated.
Recent Medical News:
It seems that medical news for me comes very slowly any more. I am just rolling along, doing what the medical doctors tell me, and I try to not make life miserable for anyone.
I have started trying to learn to track my blood work. The main reason for this e-mail is to report a significant decrease in the problem area (paraprotein) where my cancer comes from. A lab report back in October showed my “Gamma Paraprotein 1” as a 1.6. When I had blood drawn on 11-19-08 it had dropped to 0.6 and the lab work from 12-23-08 reports (Drum roll.......) 0.2 !!! I am told that this proves that the treatment regimen is working. And, there may not be a need for the Stem Cell if these good numbers continue. Nothing is "off the table", but we pray I won't have to go through the stem cell treatment if it isn't necessary.
As I learn more about the blood work and what it all means, I think it will help me. Part of the frustration for me is just "not knowing".
Please, continue to thank God for caring for me. Thank you for praying for me and being concerned about me.
Robert ...(a.k.a. Bob)
First, let me apologize for not posting more recently. With the Holidays and lots of busy going on, I just seemed to not get around to it. I hope to do better in 09.
What is Really Important?
I think I have mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In the face of difficulties the tide of what is important and what is not important can shift pretty quickly. Over the years I have spent many hours pondering automobile purchases, home remodels, clothing choices, job choices, and this list goes without end. Now, the tide has changed. There are some of the things that I worried about a great deal barely rocks the needle. But the things I didn’t give much thought to before consume my thinking. I’m much more concerned about family, health, spiritual issues, and the world my grand babies will inherit. This list too can go without end.
So, the big question for me was “why?” Well, it certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I was faced with a form of cancer that took me totally by surprise. Just living became my big challenge. I had major back surgery to remove some tumors and to stabilize what the pre and post operative reports called “near paraplegia”. Taking these two giant issues into respect, I didn’t have time to worry about the small stuff. I became more devoted to the important issues in life, and the little things that dominated my thinking and sometimes worry, dissipated.
Recent Medical News:
It seems that medical news for me comes very slowly any more. I am just rolling along, doing what the medical doctors tell me, and I try to not make life miserable for anyone.
I have started trying to learn to track my blood work. The main reason for this e-mail is to report a significant decrease in the problem area (paraprotein) where my cancer comes from. A lab report back in October showed my “Gamma Paraprotein 1” as a 1.6. When I had blood drawn on 11-19-08 it had dropped to 0.6 and the lab work from 12-23-08 reports (Drum roll.......) 0.2 !!! I am told that this proves that the treatment regimen is working. And, there may not be a need for the Stem Cell if these good numbers continue. Nothing is "off the table", but we pray I won't have to go through the stem cell treatment if it isn't necessary.
As I learn more about the blood work and what it all means, I think it will help me. Part of the frustration for me is just "not knowing".
Please, continue to thank God for caring for me. Thank you for praying for me and being concerned about me.
Robert ...(a.k.a. Bob)
Monday, December 22, 2008
My dear Blog Followers…
Do I have some information for you?!?!?
Last Friday (12-19) Debbie and I got up early and drove to Tulsa to meet with Dr. Lynch. He is a stem cell oncologist. I didn’t want to go, but I wanted to go too. Anyway, long story short, I am SO VERY happy we went to see him. He was the single most informative doctor I’ve dealt with in this entire process. I told him I didn’t know much about the multiple Myeloma and really didn’t understand all the ins and outs of the condition. He then started back at square-one and put us through Multiple Myeloma 101. Granted… I couldn’t pass a final over it, but I know more than I did.
First of all, the stem cells would be harvested from my own body. If I had an identical twin we could use his, but survival and rejection rates go to about 10% not making it. If the stem cells came from my daughter, for example, the success rate drops to 40%. Not good odds. So, all in all… I will be my own donor.
My T-Cells are the culprit. I have a single T-cell reading that was high when I was in the hospital. It was 1.6. After 2 rounds of chemo (Revlimid by pill), steroids, and radiation the last blood work was 0.6!! That means, without a doubt, that my body is responding to the treatments. Now, about the stem cells.
If… (notice the word “if”) I chose to do the stem cell transplant, and if it is medically needed, then we will pick a convenient time to have my life interrupted for 4 months. I will go over for a long day of all kinds of tests. They have to determine if I’m healthy enough for the transplant. There will be blood tests, liver tests, heart, lung, etc. Once they decide that I’m at near super-hero strength, then they will have me come back 2 weeks later (as I recall) for the harvesting of the cells. This will be the simplest of the procedures. I may have to be hospitalized for a few days, but once the harvest is complete, then they will send me home for about 2 months. Then the fun starts. I will go back to St. Francis and I will go inpatient for about 21 to 28 days. At the start of this hospital stay they will do a super dose of radiation and a super dose of chemo. When those two super doses are finished… I will have no immune system. They will basically kill off all my bone marrow. Then they will inject the harvested stem cells back into my system and let the next 3 to 4 weeks grow me a new immune system. I understand from other conversations with MM patients that they will give me my “childhood” shots all over again.
The reason they will keep me inpatient for those 21 to 28 days is because I will have no white blood cells (of any value) to fight disease and infection, and the platelets will be ‘gone’ so if I cut myself, I could bleed to death.
The reason I was so excited to go see Dr. Lynch is because I knew there were 4 treatment modalities; chemo, steroids, radiation and … stem cell. Well, I didn’t understand where the stem cell transplant fit into the grand scheme of things. He told me that if my body continued to respond to the Revlimid (chemo) my numbers could stay in the healthy range and I may never need the stem cells. But if I started having adverse reactions to the Revlimid then I may have to have the stem cell transplant as a stop gap in the treatment regimen.
So, all in all… I’m glad I went. I’m glad to find out that my T-cells are responding to the treatment.
Please continue to pray for me. Pray that I don’t feel wiped out all the time. I told Debbie yesterday that I felt like I had worked outside in the blazing summer heat all day. That zapped feeling is how I feel all the time. So… pray that I can get beyond this wiped out feeling. Prayer request #2 is to pray for Debbie. She has had a very stressful 4 months. With my health issues, surgery, treatments, and with her mom’s health issues and ultimate death, and other stressors, she can certainly use your prayers.
We are so thankful to serve a God that we know loves us even when we are unlovable.
Grace & Peace to you all.
Bob
Last Friday (12-19) Debbie and I got up early and drove to Tulsa to meet with Dr. Lynch. He is a stem cell oncologist. I didn’t want to go, but I wanted to go too. Anyway, long story short, I am SO VERY happy we went to see him. He was the single most informative doctor I’ve dealt with in this entire process. I told him I didn’t know much about the multiple Myeloma and really didn’t understand all the ins and outs of the condition. He then started back at square-one and put us through Multiple Myeloma 101. Granted… I couldn’t pass a final over it, but I know more than I did.
First of all, the stem cells would be harvested from my own body. If I had an identical twin we could use his, but survival and rejection rates go to about 10% not making it. If the stem cells came from my daughter, for example, the success rate drops to 40%. Not good odds. So, all in all… I will be my own donor.
My T-Cells are the culprit. I have a single T-cell reading that was high when I was in the hospital. It was 1.6. After 2 rounds of chemo (Revlimid by pill), steroids, and radiation the last blood work was 0.6!! That means, without a doubt, that my body is responding to the treatments. Now, about the stem cells.
If… (notice the word “if”) I chose to do the stem cell transplant, and if it is medically needed, then we will pick a convenient time to have my life interrupted for 4 months. I will go over for a long day of all kinds of tests. They have to determine if I’m healthy enough for the transplant. There will be blood tests, liver tests, heart, lung, etc. Once they decide that I’m at near super-hero strength, then they will have me come back 2 weeks later (as I recall) for the harvesting of the cells. This will be the simplest of the procedures. I may have to be hospitalized for a few days, but once the harvest is complete, then they will send me home for about 2 months. Then the fun starts. I will go back to St. Francis and I will go inpatient for about 21 to 28 days. At the start of this hospital stay they will do a super dose of radiation and a super dose of chemo. When those two super doses are finished… I will have no immune system. They will basically kill off all my bone marrow. Then they will inject the harvested stem cells back into my system and let the next 3 to 4 weeks grow me a new immune system. I understand from other conversations with MM patients that they will give me my “childhood” shots all over again.
The reason they will keep me inpatient for those 21 to 28 days is because I will have no white blood cells (of any value) to fight disease and infection, and the platelets will be ‘gone’ so if I cut myself, I could bleed to death.
The reason I was so excited to go see Dr. Lynch is because I knew there were 4 treatment modalities; chemo, steroids, radiation and … stem cell. Well, I didn’t understand where the stem cell transplant fit into the grand scheme of things. He told me that if my body continued to respond to the Revlimid (chemo) my numbers could stay in the healthy range and I may never need the stem cells. But if I started having adverse reactions to the Revlimid then I may have to have the stem cell transplant as a stop gap in the treatment regimen.
So, all in all… I’m glad I went. I’m glad to find out that my T-cells are responding to the treatment.
Please continue to pray for me. Pray that I don’t feel wiped out all the time. I told Debbie yesterday that I felt like I had worked outside in the blazing summer heat all day. That zapped feeling is how I feel all the time. So… pray that I can get beyond this wiped out feeling. Prayer request #2 is to pray for Debbie. She has had a very stressful 4 months. With my health issues, surgery, treatments, and with her mom’s health issues and ultimate death, and other stressors, she can certainly use your prayers.
We are so thankful to serve a God that we know loves us even when we are unlovable.
Grace & Peace to you all.
Bob
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Strength and Trust: The Dynamic Duo
I wish I could try to make everyone believe that my trust in God and my personal strength are unwavering. I wish I could use perfect words every day to make my readers believe that I have “arrived” and that I have it all together. People tell me how “inspiring” my blog is; quite frankly, most of the time it doesn’t feel very inspiring.
Today, I’m going to look at two words that have impacted me today. And, my comments may not be 100% infallible, but it is the way I see it. Maybe someone has more insight and I can be shown a more perfect way.
Today I’ve named the blog “Strength and Trust: The Dynamic Duo”. I guess we all remember “Batman and the Boy Wonder” and how they were billed as “The Dynamic Duo”. When Batman and Robin would fall victim to the perils of The Joker, the Riddler, or Catwoman the Caped Crusader would find some miraculous action that would free them of the bonds of evil. There were times when Robin would be the catalyst to lead them to safety. I think the key to their success is the term, “dynamic duo”. Duo... the word means “two”. Scripture says two can ward of the attack that would overpower one alone. Duo... two fighting one battle. Duo...two harmonizing the tune. Duo...not a solo.
Confession will be good for my soul here. I’ve had a hard week. Fear has seized its grip on me, and I’ve given in to worry and depression. But today, I am making a conscious effort to fight back. I am going to employ the energy of my dynamic duo... “strength and trust”.
Now, this is where my concept may veer from the traditional view of these words. But, this is my take on it. I think strength and trust are the exact same energy. But where they radiate from is what is different. Strength is my own arsenal that helps me fight the battles that hurt so bad. Strength wells up in me and I focus its energy to help me win each battle that besets me. Trust, on the other hand, addresses one’s trust in God. Again, I believe both words are the same energy, but they radiate from a different place and are focused on different characters. Strength is focused on me... trust is focused on God.
And here is the wonderful part –when I can’t muster the energy to be strong, I can turn my focus toward God and trust him. When I let my trust in God fall by the wayside, I can attempt to assemble my own strength. It takes both strength (focused on my own energy) and trust (focused on God’s energy) to find success in the battles of the every day world.
Some of you may notice that I often wear suspenders and a belt. The tumor on my right lower rib creates an unusual waist line, and if my trousers fall below the tumor’s bulge, there isn’t much to hold up my pants. I was told recently there is a term in the finance world called “belt and suspenders”. It employs a “duo” of supports so that if one fails, the other will act as a backup. My intent is to use both supports... strength and trust... so that if one fails, I’ll have the stabilizing backup of the other.
I will be in Tulsa on Friday, 12-19-08 for a consult with the Stem-cell specialist. I have no idea what this will hold. I covet your prayers.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Today, I’m going to look at two words that have impacted me today. And, my comments may not be 100% infallible, but it is the way I see it. Maybe someone has more insight and I can be shown a more perfect way.
Today I’ve named the blog “Strength and Trust: The Dynamic Duo”. I guess we all remember “Batman and the Boy Wonder” and how they were billed as “The Dynamic Duo”. When Batman and Robin would fall victim to the perils of The Joker, the Riddler, or Catwoman the Caped Crusader would find some miraculous action that would free them of the bonds of evil. There were times when Robin would be the catalyst to lead them to safety. I think the key to their success is the term, “dynamic duo”. Duo... the word means “two”. Scripture says two can ward of the attack that would overpower one alone. Duo... two fighting one battle. Duo...two harmonizing the tune. Duo...not a solo.
Confession will be good for my soul here. I’ve had a hard week. Fear has seized its grip on me, and I’ve given in to worry and depression. But today, I am making a conscious effort to fight back. I am going to employ the energy of my dynamic duo... “strength and trust”.
Now, this is where my concept may veer from the traditional view of these words. But, this is my take on it. I think strength and trust are the exact same energy. But where they radiate from is what is different. Strength is my own arsenal that helps me fight the battles that hurt so bad. Strength wells up in me and I focus its energy to help me win each battle that besets me. Trust, on the other hand, addresses one’s trust in God. Again, I believe both words are the same energy, but they radiate from a different place and are focused on different characters. Strength is focused on me... trust is focused on God.
And here is the wonderful part –when I can’t muster the energy to be strong, I can turn my focus toward God and trust him. When I let my trust in God fall by the wayside, I can attempt to assemble my own strength. It takes both strength (focused on my own energy) and trust (focused on God’s energy) to find success in the battles of the every day world.
Some of you may notice that I often wear suspenders and a belt. The tumor on my right lower rib creates an unusual waist line, and if my trousers fall below the tumor’s bulge, there isn’t much to hold up my pants. I was told recently there is a term in the finance world called “belt and suspenders”. It employs a “duo” of supports so that if one fails, the other will act as a backup. My intent is to use both supports... strength and trust... so that if one fails, I’ll have the stabilizing backup of the other.
I will be in Tulsa on Friday, 12-19-08 for a consult with the Stem-cell specialist. I have no idea what this will hold. I covet your prayers.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Life Goes On...
Last Thursday my mother-in-law, Anna Smith, passed from this life to her reward. She was a wonderful, caring woman and she will be greatly missed. She was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer just a week or so before my diagnosis came. I called her "Mother-in-law" and she called me, "Son-in-law". She always supported me and my family's dreams and plans. I will look forward to seeing her again on the other side.
Any time big changes occur... the passing of a loved one or the diagnosis of cancer, for example, there are always adjustments that have to be made. An old fellow I knew once told me it took him 6 months to quit pulling down two coffee cups every morning after his wife died.
One of the things that I have to adjust to is physical weakness. I'm just not as strong as I once was. Ok... lets be honest here. I even have the kid at the grocery store pop the lid on the pickles before he bags them for me. I think I'll get stronger as the treatments progress, but right now, I'm a sap.
I will have the stem cell consult on December 19 in Tulsa. I am excited to talk to them and find out what all of that entails.
It has been a while since I've asked for prayers, but today, I think I need them. So, if you will... say a prayer for me to keep my strength and attitude up, to stay grounded in my faith, and to accept life as it comes.
Thanks for your encouragement.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Any time big changes occur... the passing of a loved one or the diagnosis of cancer, for example, there are always adjustments that have to be made. An old fellow I knew once told me it took him 6 months to quit pulling down two coffee cups every morning after his wife died.
One of the things that I have to adjust to is physical weakness. I'm just not as strong as I once was. Ok... lets be honest here. I even have the kid at the grocery store pop the lid on the pickles before he bags them for me. I think I'll get stronger as the treatments progress, but right now, I'm a sap.
I will have the stem cell consult on December 19 in Tulsa. I am excited to talk to them and find out what all of that entails.
It has been a while since I've asked for prayers, but today, I think I need them. So, if you will... say a prayer for me to keep my strength and attitude up, to stay grounded in my faith, and to accept life as it comes.
Thanks for your encouragement.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Debbie's Mother
My mothers mom, Anna Smith, passed away on Thursday evening. Mom & Dad have been in McAlester since then, and DJ and I are heading there Sunday for the funeral on Monday.
When my mom called me to let me know she said, "She won the victory!" And she did win!!! She devoted her life to Christ and now she can rest and be with Him in heaven. Although it is hard to not have her here with us, we have peace knowing where she is.
Please keep my parents and my granddad, Leo, in your prayers.
God gives grace,
kj
When my mom called me to let me know she said, "She won the victory!" And she did win!!! She devoted her life to Christ and now she can rest and be with Him in heaven. Although it is hard to not have her here with us, we have peace knowing where she is.
Please keep my parents and my granddad, Leo, in your prayers.
God gives grace,
kj
Monday, December 1, 2008
Family
Medically, I don't have a great deal of updating. I finished my first round of chemo and started the new one on 11-26-08. I have finished my 3rd round of steroids and I took my last radiation on 11-25-08. I will go to Tulsa on 12-5-08 to be evaluated for the stem cell treatment. More about that in next Monday's blog entry.
In my last blog entry "I am Thankful" (11-26-08) I talked about my family and how important they have been to me in my recovery. And, this has caused me to seriously consider how important family is for the one who is in the throws of healing... whether it is healing from hurts of the body or hurts of the heart.
Last week Debbie spent a great deal of time in McAlester. Of course her mother has been hospitalized for many days, she has pancreatic cancer, and is not long for this world. I sat in my mother-in-law's hospital room and watched my wife loving care for her mother. Although it has not been medically proven, but there seems to be some belief that the cancer has moved into her stomach. She can't keep anything down, and her she constantly complains of pain in her tummy. Debbie stands by her mothers bed and gently rubs her mom's stomach to try to help soothe her pain. She has dabbed cold water in the wash cloth and kept it on her mom's forehead, and she adjusts the warm pad they keep on her aching stomach. Gentle, loving, and caring. The image of God's servant doing what good servants do.
If I was standing over the hospital bed of a loved one would I be as compassionate? Would I suffer my own pain to the benefit of my loved one? I was the pupil in my wife's "classroom of life" last week and I watched her and I learned from her actions. My wife... the teacher. She teaches 2nd graders during the day, and if I pay attention, she teaches me how people are supposed to behave when she is with me.
Then, the thought crossed my mind... what do people do who don't have family? In my recovery of body my wife has had to do things for me that are indescribable. She has done them without complaining, and she has been as gentle and caring as possible. And, without her help I really don't know what I would have done. For example... last night while peeling a potato I cut the tip-end of my left thumb off. Man... it hurt. Triple antibiotic ointment and Band-Aids were my first line of defense. Then, to double my misery, this morning, while toasting an English Muffin, I burned the index finger on my right hand. And when I say burned it, I mean I brought a large water blister about an inch long on the left side of that finger. Remove the use of the left thumb and the right index finger and see if you can button a shirt, tie a shoe, zip the pants, much less tie a tie. If I didn't have my wife, I would have been less than dressed adequately for church this morning!
Family is important. Don't take them for Granted... love them... do whatever it takes to keep your family front and center in your life. You never know when you're going need help buttoning your shirt.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
In my last blog entry "I am Thankful" (11-26-08) I talked about my family and how important they have been to me in my recovery. And, this has caused me to seriously consider how important family is for the one who is in the throws of healing... whether it is healing from hurts of the body or hurts of the heart.
Last week Debbie spent a great deal of time in McAlester. Of course her mother has been hospitalized for many days, she has pancreatic cancer, and is not long for this world. I sat in my mother-in-law's hospital room and watched my wife loving care for her mother. Although it has not been medically proven, but there seems to be some belief that the cancer has moved into her stomach. She can't keep anything down, and her she constantly complains of pain in her tummy. Debbie stands by her mothers bed and gently rubs her mom's stomach to try to help soothe her pain. She has dabbed cold water in the wash cloth and kept it on her mom's forehead, and she adjusts the warm pad they keep on her aching stomach. Gentle, loving, and caring. The image of God's servant doing what good servants do.
If I was standing over the hospital bed of a loved one would I be as compassionate? Would I suffer my own pain to the benefit of my loved one? I was the pupil in my wife's "classroom of life" last week and I watched her and I learned from her actions. My wife... the teacher. She teaches 2nd graders during the day, and if I pay attention, she teaches me how people are supposed to behave when she is with me.
Then, the thought crossed my mind... what do people do who don't have family? In my recovery of body my wife has had to do things for me that are indescribable. She has done them without complaining, and she has been as gentle and caring as possible. And, without her help I really don't know what I would have done. For example... last night while peeling a potato I cut the tip-end of my left thumb off. Man... it hurt. Triple antibiotic ointment and Band-Aids were my first line of defense. Then, to double my misery, this morning, while toasting an English Muffin, I burned the index finger on my right hand. And when I say burned it, I mean I brought a large water blister about an inch long on the left side of that finger. Remove the use of the left thumb and the right index finger and see if you can button a shirt, tie a shoe, zip the pants, much less tie a tie. If I didn't have my wife, I would have been less than dressed adequately for church this morning!
Family is important. Don't take them for Granted... love them... do whatever it takes to keep your family front and center in your life. You never know when you're going need help buttoning your shirt.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I am Thankful!
Especially in the last four months I have found so many reasons to be thankful to God on so many new levels. I thank God for answering prayers that I needed to pray even before I prayed them. I’m thankful for the little things like a painless I.V. puncture and the giant things such as making a $250,000 hospital and doctor bill evaporate in front of my eyes. While I’m thinking about that I.V. puncture, I’m also thankful that after I accidentally pulled my I.V. out, I am thankful that I was able to endure 8 tries to get a good vein to put the I.V. back in! I am just thankful that I serve a God that is so big that he can be in every aspect of my life –the big things and the small things. I hope that my words today will cause you to stop and think about all the veritable ways you can offer thanks to God too. (I apologize now for the length of this entry… but sometimes a guy has to say what a guy has to say!)
I am Thankful…
…to be alive; to able to walk; that the damage to my spinal cord was minimal; that God blessed my medical services providers –Dr. Ben White and his staff –with the hands, hearts, minds, strength and stamina to perform near miracles as they operated on me for 8 hours. And that Kevin my nurse that cared for me the night before this horrifying surgery stayed with me and talked me through my fear and anxiety. I’m thankful for the post operative care I received, for the gentleness of the nursing staff; and that my body has healed so well from such a massively invasive surgery. And, I’m also thankful for the wonderful care of Dr. Michael Keefer and his staff in the Cancer Care office(s) at Mercy and at Hefner Point. All of these people started out as doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, and now, many of them feel like friends.
I am Thankful…
…for my wife who worked day and night to help take care of me. She’s fed me, bathed me, dressed me, prayed with and for me, and she has done it all tirelessly while worrying about her own mother who is fighting her final moments with cancer and while teaching school every day possible. And, for my daughter who stays in daily contact with me, comes to see me, rubs my shoulders; and encouraged me to be a part of the ministry message of this blog site. She has reached out to me and loved me and cared for me and encouraged me on the down days and laughed and enjoyed the good days with me. She brings the little girls over to visit “Poppy” and they bring me cards they have made. And, for my son-in-law who stayed with me the night before the surgery. He has definitely seen the worst of me, and he’s still helping me! He came and installed a “handicapped” commode for me before I got home from the hospital. If there is fetching and toting – he’s my man. But the best thing about him is that he loves my daughter and his two little girls. I used to think that Damon was the “son I never had” then it dawned on me one day recently in a prayer, that he is the son God gave me.
I am Thankful..
......for my Mom & Dad for praying for me every day. They call to check on me very often. They always have their best words of encouragement for me to “bundle up, keep warm, don’t fall down, and take good care of myself.” What would I do without my parents??? What would any of us do without our parents??? And, my thankfulness extends specifically for my DAD who at almost 92 years of age prayed for me over the phone before I went down for surgery. [ I think it was the first time he had ever done anything like that!!!]
And, for my brothers and their wonderful wives. They call to check on me, jot me e-mails, keep me buckled down in the “little brother” role, and never miss a chance to take that all important swipe at my ego. Man… my brothers are great guys. They treat me like I’m still the same old me. Refreshing.
I am Thankful…
…for my job; for good insurance; for the blessing that I refer to as my boss! for a support staff and colleagues that still catch work I can’t get done; for other staff members who come by for their daily hug or that shared word of encouragement.
I am also very Thankful for…
…Mike who taught me how to live and how to die; for his wife Lori who is the image of what God had in mind for how a Christian woman is to live and act.
…Jeff and Bobbie who lead our class so successfully and who check on us all the time.
…for Harry and Cindi who have literally stood by us during this entire ride! God could not give us better best friends.
…for Scott, Josh, Mark, and our other ministers, and ministers from other churches, and our elders, and elders from other churches who came to see me in the hospital, and who still check on me,
…for Micah, who at the last minute agreed to try to find something to say over me if the surgery didn’t go well J. I told him I wasn’t speaking from a lack of faith, but I was speaking from a mind of realistic possibilities. He agreed (with a tear in his eye) and said he’d share the task with James (the next guy down.)
…for James who drove down from Lawrence, KS and helped me get settled when I came home from the Hospital, for running errands, for installing a new door knob to help improve security around home central. For checking on me, calling me, emailing me and reaching out to me.
...for Dan who a few years go suffered a very crushing injury. He has taught me not to ask the "why" questions. He taught me to ask the "why not me" questions.
...for Mark & Randy who check my blog almost every day and anways send me notes of encouragement.
...for my two brothers who stepped up to lead my discussion group on Wednesday night. They both agreed to “help” and ended up with the whole thing. Awesome men... serving an awesome God!
...for Lisa & Katie who stayed at my family's side the entire night of my surgery. Thanks for supporting my girls.
...for the 30+ people who came in to check on on my family while I was in the grueling surgery.
...my friend, brother, and doctor Jeff who came to the hospital and sat with me the night of my diagnosis. He came to comfort me and dispell my fears. Jeff will never know what that meant to me.
…for Wilma and Sam who brought my Mom and Dad to see me while I was in the hospital! Thanks so, so much.
…for Scott L. who drove from Springdale, AR to spend the afternoon with me one Sunday, and took me to help me wash our car, and who prayed for me through a few tears.
…for Kelley and Jade for their loving concern, and e-mails, and willingness to let us crash at their house when we travel down to Ada.
…for Michael who came and watched the season opener OU game with me (…and No.. I’m not an OU fan, but he was a friend who came and it made it all okay!)
…for David and his daily hug and word of encouragement.
…for the tons of folks who send me e-mails, cards, and letters. And MANY of them are dealing with their OWN life worries and health problems.
… for the ones who leave comments on the blog site, for the ones who call to check on me day after day, and who pray for me.
…that many, MANY people from all my past work, school, and church families have reconnected with us!
And… last, but certainly not least…I am Thankful to God…
…that he loves me,
…that he cares for me,
…that in spite of my callous attitudes of the past, he has lavished his good grace and blessings on me!
…for healing me
…for being there for me when I need him
…for waiting patiently when I forget to need him
…and for letting me live long enough to find my way back to him
And… this is only the tip of the iceberg. I could keep going, but even with the fear of leaving out someone I must stop. God has blessed me with friends, family, good medicine, and a loving spiritual family that helps lift the burdens. What more could a guy ask for?
Give thanks to God the Father,
Grace & Peace…and Happy Thanksgiving!
Bob
I am Thankful…
…to be alive; to able to walk; that the damage to my spinal cord was minimal; that God blessed my medical services providers –Dr. Ben White and his staff –with the hands, hearts, minds, strength and stamina to perform near miracles as they operated on me for 8 hours. And that Kevin my nurse that cared for me the night before this horrifying surgery stayed with me and talked me through my fear and anxiety. I’m thankful for the post operative care I received, for the gentleness of the nursing staff; and that my body has healed so well from such a massively invasive surgery. And, I’m also thankful for the wonderful care of Dr. Michael Keefer and his staff in the Cancer Care office(s) at Mercy and at Hefner Point. All of these people started out as doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, and now, many of them feel like friends.
I am Thankful…
…for my wife who worked day and night to help take care of me. She’s fed me, bathed me, dressed me, prayed with and for me, and she has done it all tirelessly while worrying about her own mother who is fighting her final moments with cancer and while teaching school every day possible. And, for my daughter who stays in daily contact with me, comes to see me, rubs my shoulders; and encouraged me to be a part of the ministry message of this blog site. She has reached out to me and loved me and cared for me and encouraged me on the down days and laughed and enjoyed the good days with me. She brings the little girls over to visit “Poppy” and they bring me cards they have made. And, for my son-in-law who stayed with me the night before the surgery. He has definitely seen the worst of me, and he’s still helping me! He came and installed a “handicapped” commode for me before I got home from the hospital. If there is fetching and toting – he’s my man. But the best thing about him is that he loves my daughter and his two little girls. I used to think that Damon was the “son I never had” then it dawned on me one day recently in a prayer, that he is the son God gave me.
I am Thankful..
......for my Mom & Dad for praying for me every day. They call to check on me very often. They always have their best words of encouragement for me to “bundle up, keep warm, don’t fall down, and take good care of myself.” What would I do without my parents??? What would any of us do without our parents??? And, my thankfulness extends specifically for my DAD who at almost 92 years of age prayed for me over the phone before I went down for surgery. [ I think it was the first time he had ever done anything like that!!!]
And, for my brothers and their wonderful wives. They call to check on me, jot me e-mails, keep me buckled down in the “little brother” role, and never miss a chance to take that all important swipe at my ego. Man… my brothers are great guys. They treat me like I’m still the same old me. Refreshing.
I am Thankful…
…for my job; for good insurance; for the blessing that I refer to as my boss! for a support staff and colleagues that still catch work I can’t get done; for other staff members who come by for their daily hug or that shared word of encouragement.
I am also very Thankful for…
…Mike who taught me how to live and how to die; for his wife Lori who is the image of what God had in mind for how a Christian woman is to live and act.
…Jeff and Bobbie who lead our class so successfully and who check on us all the time.
…for Harry and Cindi who have literally stood by us during this entire ride! God could not give us better best friends.
…for Scott, Josh, Mark, and our other ministers, and ministers from other churches, and our elders, and elders from other churches who came to see me in the hospital, and who still check on me,
…for Micah, who at the last minute agreed to try to find something to say over me if the surgery didn’t go well J. I told him I wasn’t speaking from a lack of faith, but I was speaking from a mind of realistic possibilities. He agreed (with a tear in his eye) and said he’d share the task with James (the next guy down.)
…for James who drove down from Lawrence, KS and helped me get settled when I came home from the Hospital, for running errands, for installing a new door knob to help improve security around home central. For checking on me, calling me, emailing me and reaching out to me.
...for Dan who a few years go suffered a very crushing injury. He has taught me not to ask the "why" questions. He taught me to ask the "why not me" questions.
...for Mark & Randy who check my blog almost every day and anways send me notes of encouragement.
...for my two brothers who stepped up to lead my discussion group on Wednesday night. They both agreed to “help” and ended up with the whole thing. Awesome men... serving an awesome God!
...for Lisa & Katie who stayed at my family's side the entire night of my surgery. Thanks for supporting my girls.
...for the 30+ people who came in to check on on my family while I was in the grueling surgery.
...my friend, brother, and doctor Jeff who came to the hospital and sat with me the night of my diagnosis. He came to comfort me and dispell my fears. Jeff will never know what that meant to me.
…for Wilma and Sam who brought my Mom and Dad to see me while I was in the hospital! Thanks so, so much.
…for Scott L. who drove from Springdale, AR to spend the afternoon with me one Sunday, and took me to help me wash our car, and who prayed for me through a few tears.
…for Kelley and Jade for their loving concern, and e-mails, and willingness to let us crash at their house when we travel down to Ada.
…for Michael who came and watched the season opener OU game with me (…and No.. I’m not an OU fan, but he was a friend who came and it made it all okay!)
…for David and his daily hug and word of encouragement.
…for the tons of folks who send me e-mails, cards, and letters. And MANY of them are dealing with their OWN life worries and health problems.
… for the ones who leave comments on the blog site, for the ones who call to check on me day after day, and who pray for me.
…that many, MANY people from all my past work, school, and church families have reconnected with us!
And… last, but certainly not least…I am Thankful to God…
…that he loves me,
…that he cares for me,
…that in spite of my callous attitudes of the past, he has lavished his good grace and blessings on me!
…for healing me
…for being there for me when I need him
…for waiting patiently when I forget to need him
…and for letting me live long enough to find my way back to him
And… this is only the tip of the iceberg. I could keep going, but even with the fear of leaving out someone I must stop. God has blessed me with friends, family, good medicine, and a loving spiritual family that helps lift the burdens. What more could a guy ask for?
Give thanks to God the Father,
Grace & Peace…and Happy Thanksgiving!
Bob
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Poppy & Addy
I just loved this picture! My daddy and my Addy....can't get much better than that!!! ~kj
Monday, November 24, 2008
Good Stuff....
Greetings To All!
Before I start the Monday BLOG about my recovery, let me invite you to log back in later this week because we’ll be posting a special edition. My daughter Karyn pointed out to me a few days ago that this year (as if more than other years) there is MUCH to be thankful for. I took her remarks to heart and I will post my “I’m Thankful For…” blog on Wednesday, 11-26-08.
Now… to the really good stuff! On Friday morning I went to the oncology doctor (Michael Keefer who, like me, is 54 and born in 54). He said my blood work looked good and he was ecstatic about my condition. I asked him about the radiation and he said it looked great and that it was forcing numbers back to where they should be. He said my immune system was only slightly compromised and he was sure that I would be fine. He told me to take all the precautions about colds, flu, and hand sanitation, etc. I finished my first round of Chemotherapy last Tuesday. The next prescription arrives via UPS on this Tuesday AM, but I will have blood work on Tuesday afternoon before I start it on Wednesday AM. As much as I can tell, I have had NO ill side affects from the chemo. The radiation, not such good luck – it makes me very tired, I have a little square “sunburn” on my chest/stomach, and I glow all night and it keeps Debbie awake. OK, that last one was just a joke. But the tired part… that is a “FOR sure”.
I am now 3 weeks without using a walker!!! I’m learning to be surer on my feet. I have to remember that in addition to not being 17 any more, I have lost a lot of feeling in my feet and legs. When I get up from a chair, if I don’t stand and get my balance, it makes for a very tricky take-off. If I balance and get my bearings, I can navigate just fine. I have to be careful to correct missteps early, and not make any jerky movements. I am fairly certain these issues will certainly keep me out of the running to be on Dancing with the Stars! …However, if being old, clumsy, and slow didn’t keep Cloris Leachman out of the line-up then maybe I still have a shot!
Make sure God is with you every step of your way this week. Depend on Him. Trust Him. Turn your heart and mind to Him! I’ll see you Wednesday.
Grace & Peace to all.
Bob
Monday, November 17, 2008
PRAYING THROUGH THE HURT
(Note: Our Church had a prayer expo this last weekend and I was asked to write a prayer about praying through the hurt. Below is the prayer I submitted. I hope it ministers to you.)
Holy Father,
You are the maker of all good things, the Supreme Being, the God of the Universe. It is humbling that as a human being, with all my frailties, I am permitted to address you face to face. I am blessed to know you and I am blessed to be in your presence. Thank you for the gracious gifts you shower upon me.
Father, you know more about me than I than I know about myself, and it is because of this intimate knowledge that I have the freedom to come before you with my prayers and desires. You know that I have suffered many hurts in my life. Some of my hurts are the results of decisions I have made that have hurt myself or others. Some of my hurts are accidental, some are intentional. Some I’ve caused on myself and some are hurts levied on me by others. And there are other hurts that are not the result of actions by any human, but just by the nature of life. Regardless where the hurts come from they cause pain; pain I am left to reconcile and resolve within the confines of your grace and holiness. I ask your forgiveness for the pain I have caused others and I ask for strength as I seek forgiveness from those I have injured.
Father I know when I experience a hurt you come near to help me carry the burden. As my loving God and Father, you want to help lift the load. Give me the peace of mind to let you help me carry the burdens that weigh me down. There are times, however, when you want me to live with my hurts and pain for a little while. It is these times that you want me to know the pain so I can appreciate the blessing of freedom when the pain is lifted.
Sometimes, God, I let my human curiosity take command of my heart and I try to understand the “why” behind the pain. But in the Proverbs you told us that we are to trust in you and that we cannot rely on our own understanding. You have also told us that you will not give us more than we can bear, and you have told us by in placing our confidence in you that we can rise victorious over the pain. Give me the hope that comes in living in your presence.
Teach me how to find joy in my hurts. Help me learn how to give you glory when my spirit is crushed under pain. Take away the fear that paralyzes me, remind me that you are with me and that you will comfort and protect me.
It is through Jesus’ Holy Name,
A-men
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Trust in the Lord
A dear sister in Christ reminded me of the Proverbs 3:5 verse that says, in essence… “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.” I don’t know why all of this happened to me, but I also don’t know why it shouldn’t happen to me. About three years ago I made a conscious effort to work on my relationship with my wife and with my God. Little did I know that when I got the relationship with God in a better condition, that all of my other relationships would line up behind them. Now, let me quickly add, that all I can say is that things are better, not perfect. Ok… a lot better. But I still struggle with keeping a bridle in my mouth.
Some of you share with me that you have issues and problems in your life or in the lives of your family. Some have said, “Why?” Again, I toss it back…“Why not?” God has given you the tools that those who live without God’s grace do not have. God promised you that he would not leave you, that he would not give you more than you could handle, and that he would give you his Holy Spirit to be a counselor to help you through the hard times. God told us to rejoice in the hard times because it is an opportunity to give HIM glory.
Look forward to the hard times, not with joy and excitement because things are falling apart around you, but because it is at those times you get closer to God. And if you are not getting closer to God… then you’re walking the wrong way.
Grace & Peace to all
– Bob
Some of you share with me that you have issues and problems in your life or in the lives of your family. Some have said, “Why?” Again, I toss it back…“Why not?” God has given you the tools that those who live without God’s grace do not have. God promised you that he would not leave you, that he would not give you more than you could handle, and that he would give you his Holy Spirit to be a counselor to help you through the hard times. God told us to rejoice in the hard times because it is an opportunity to give HIM glory.
Look forward to the hard times, not with joy and excitement because things are falling apart around you, but because it is at those times you get closer to God. And if you are not getting closer to God… then you’re walking the wrong way.
Grace & Peace to all
– Bob
Monday, November 10, 2008
THE EVIDENCE IS CHANGING…
Saturday morning, I went “sale-ing” for a couple hours. Now for those of you who may not know all of my down-falls in life, being a chronic Garage-sale-a-holic is one of them. Besides a bunch of stuff I really didn’t need I found a nice clock for my office, and a handful of Christian CD’s. One is of the “Kings of Joy” an all black male group and friends…they rock!
After I rested a few hours, Debbie and went to a late lunch and then went to the movie “Fireproof”. This movie is awesome! It stars Kirk Cameron and it is a tremendous movie. It carries a very strong message… a message every man and woman in America need to hear. It addresses the single most destructive force in any marriage –selfishness.
Even though I didn’t sleep many hours Saturday night, Sunday morning I woke feeling great. We went to church, Bible class, and then to lunch with our kids. I took Debbie home and went to the grocery store for about an hour to buy food for our church pantry drive. Then we went to evening church and to our Brother’s Keepers group meeting.
All day Saturday I leaned on my walker. But Sunday… all day… I did not use the walker at all! I decided that if I don’t force the issue with my feet and legs, I may never get the feeling back. So, I am living the miracle that I believe God will work in my life. Like the caption at the top of this blog page… “Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change.” The evidence is changing. I’m getting stronger.
Grace & Peace to All –
Bob
After I rested a few hours, Debbie and went to a late lunch and then went to the movie “Fireproof”. This movie is awesome! It stars Kirk Cameron and it is a tremendous movie. It carries a very strong message… a message every man and woman in America need to hear. It addresses the single most destructive force in any marriage –selfishness.
Even though I didn’t sleep many hours Saturday night, Sunday morning I woke feeling great. We went to church, Bible class, and then to lunch with our kids. I took Debbie home and went to the grocery store for about an hour to buy food for our church pantry drive. Then we went to evening church and to our Brother’s Keepers group meeting.
All day Saturday I leaned on my walker. But Sunday… all day… I did not use the walker at all! I decided that if I don’t force the issue with my feet and legs, I may never get the feeling back. So, I am living the miracle that I believe God will work in my life. Like the caption at the top of this blog page… “Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change.” The evidence is changing. I’m getting stronger.
Grace & Peace to All –
Bob
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday Thoughts
I continue to get stronger as the days go. I’m in my 3rd week of radiation, my 4th week of steroids, and my 2nd week of chemotherapy. The only side affect is that I become more robust and handsome every day.
Now, hopefully I’ve made you laugh, and now I want to make you stop and think. (Sorry, this is just what I do.)
I always believed that people who had long illnesses would be the most prepared to “meet their maker.” I assumed that as the body became weaker, the more the mind could (would) focus on the spirit of Jesus. So, conversely, I thought those who died because of accident or injury were the ones who had to go before God with what they had; no less and no more.
The cancer that stalks me is a mouse compared to the lion of cancer that others have. But I just assumed that any diagnosis of the dreaded disease would cause me to take my soul even more serious than I do. I was sure that I would really focus on being the man God wanted me to be. However, what I have found is that I am just as tempted to sin today as I was before I knew there was cancer in my body. I believed that with the diagnosis I would become closer to God than before, that I would not be inclined to sin as I had in the past, and that I would leave this life “squeaky clean” having been given the chance to clean up prior to my exit cue. My relationship with God is certainly stronger now than before, but I made the conscious effort to repair that relationship a few years ago.
So, now my belief is this; as long as a man lives the temptation of sin is ever present. There does not seem to be a reprieve to the temptation. Satan, the chump, never lets up. He just keeps on and keeps on... trying to dig away at me. I suppose if my diagnosis was terminal with only a few days, weeks, or months left, that he would not ease up on me even then. Satan has no compassion.
My prayer for myself and for everyone else is that we recognize the lies Satan throws at us. I pray that we not fool ourselves into thinking that “we’ll have plenty of time” to give our lives to Jesus. None of us know when it will be our time to go to heaven's home, and some of us depend on a false sense of security (eg., excellent health or youth) to believe that we've got more time on earth than we may have. The only hour you know is yours for absolute certain, is the one you just finished. Turn to God. Trust him. The clock is ticking.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Now, hopefully I’ve made you laugh, and now I want to make you stop and think. (Sorry, this is just what I do.)
I always believed that people who had long illnesses would be the most prepared to “meet their maker.” I assumed that as the body became weaker, the more the mind could (would) focus on the spirit of Jesus. So, conversely, I thought those who died because of accident or injury were the ones who had to go before God with what they had; no less and no more.
The cancer that stalks me is a mouse compared to the lion of cancer that others have. But I just assumed that any diagnosis of the dreaded disease would cause me to take my soul even more serious than I do. I was sure that I would really focus on being the man God wanted me to be. However, what I have found is that I am just as tempted to sin today as I was before I knew there was cancer in my body. I believed that with the diagnosis I would become closer to God than before, that I would not be inclined to sin as I had in the past, and that I would leave this life “squeaky clean” having been given the chance to clean up prior to my exit cue. My relationship with God is certainly stronger now than before, but I made the conscious effort to repair that relationship a few years ago.
So, now my belief is this; as long as a man lives the temptation of sin is ever present. There does not seem to be a reprieve to the temptation. Satan, the chump, never lets up. He just keeps on and keeps on... trying to dig away at me. I suppose if my diagnosis was terminal with only a few days, weeks, or months left, that he would not ease up on me even then. Satan has no compassion.
My prayer for myself and for everyone else is that we recognize the lies Satan throws at us. I pray that we not fool ourselves into thinking that “we’ll have plenty of time” to give our lives to Jesus. None of us know when it will be our time to go to heaven's home, and some of us depend on a false sense of security (eg., excellent health or youth) to believe that we've got more time on earth than we may have. The only hour you know is yours for absolute certain, is the one you just finished. Turn to God. Trust him. The clock is ticking.
Grace & Peace,
Bob
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Out & About
Mom & Dad got out this morning and came to Lily's soccer game. It was GREAT having him there. Lily got her first goal and ran over and said "That one was for you Poppy!" Pretty cute!!
He started his chemo pill, and is pretty tired from the radiation, but we are all just praying that his body is accepting the treatments. Thanks for your continued prayers!
God is good, ALL the time!
He started his chemo pill, and is pretty tired from the radiation, but we are all just praying that his body is accepting the treatments. Thanks for your continued prayers!
God is good, ALL the time!
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